Stand Still, Look Pretty
by BlueEyedCountryGirl
Summary: Stasia was in the tail section of the plane when it crashed. She was going to deliver a letter to a man named James Ford. When the plane crashes she's sure she'll never find him until one day she finds him in the last person she expected.
1. The beginning

I've just recently started this story. please tell me what you think about it and if I should continue. The title comes from a song by The Wreckers.

Rating: M

Disclaimer: I do not own Lost or anything you recognize. Stasia and Cole are my characters.

Feedback: Please let me know what you think.

Summary: Stasia was a singer in the tail section of the plane. She was in Australia visiting her father and her father asked her to deliver a letter to him for a man named James Ford. When the plane crashes she thinks she'll never find this James Ford until one day she finds him in the last person she expected.

Its better than it sounds, I just wanted to throw another character in the mix of the whole Jack, Sawyer, Kate thing. The first chapter is just to intruduce you to my character Stasia, the other characters come in in the next chapter.

* * *

Anastasia Norwood, known to everyone as just Stasia, was on Oceanic fight 815 when it crashed. She was actually in the tail section, not her first choice of seats but everything else was taken. Stasia was a rising singer, who went by Stasia, just Stasia. One word was all she needed to be recognized, hey it worked for Mariah, Whitney and Madonna. She was in Australia doing promotion for her third album titled Fantasy. Back before everyone started to recognize her and know who she was, she was the opening act for a band called Driveshaft, but they disappeared, broke-up, whatever. She had been gaining popularity in the U.S. and now everywhere else and she was finally going to have her own tour, but now she was stuck on this island and there was no way off. She knew everyone on the island probably hated her and she couldn't really blame them. She didn't act very nice or polite the first few days they crashed here. She yelled, cussed, got mad because her cell phone wouldn't work and threw it in the ocean. She had a bit of a temper sometimes. She saw the looks she got from everyone, they probably thought she was some pampered spoiled princess, but she really wasn't. She worked really hard to get where she was, to accomplish what she had and now it was gone and she was stuck on this island. 

Stasia mostly kept to herself, she helped occasionally, and Ana Lucia was always on her case about doing her share. But the truth was that they were all lucky to be alive, since some didn't even survive the crash and others had been killed or kidnapped by other people on the island already. What was going to happen next?


	2. Blue Eyes

Rating: M

Disclaimer: I do not own Lost or anything you recognize. Stasia and Cole are my characters.

Feedback: Please let me know what you think.

Summary: Stasia was a singer in the tail section of the plane. She was in Australia visiting her father and her father asked her to deliver a letter to him for a man named James Ford. When the plane crashes she thinks she'll never find this James Ford until one day she finds him in the last person she expected.

Its better than it sounds, I just wanted to throw another character in the mix of the whole Jack, Sawyer, Kate thing.

* * *

What happened next was Ana Lucia and Mr. Eko caught three men. Ana believed they were the people that had caused them so much pain, but they had to be sure before they did anything.

Eko and Ana had come back to where they were staying. Stasia was sitting off by herself again. Eko walked over and sat down by her.

"Anastasia," he said and she looked over at him.

"Hello Mr. Eko," she replied.

"How are you holding up?"

"I'm alive," she answered.

"Is that it?" he asked and she nodded. "Why are you sitting by yourself?"

"Well lets face it no one here likes me very much. I can't blame them really, I did nothing but act like a total bitch the first few days we were here."

"But now you don't say much at all," he said.

"I was supposed to be starting my tour in a few months, people were going to pay money to hear me sing," she told him. "It was all I ever wanted to become a singer and I was achieving my dream and now it's all gone. I worked so hard to accomplish everything I did," she told him. "Regardless of what anyone thinks I never had anything just handed to me. My family didn't have much money, we barely survived. My father ran off about a week after I was born and my mom did the best she could," she told Eko. "I wondered about my dad while I was growing up, what kind of man runs out on his family?" she asked. "You don't have to answer that."

"Did you ever get to meet your dad?" Eko asked.

"One of the other reasons I was in Australia. The first being promotion for my new CD and because that's where my father was," she sighed running her fingers through her hair. "He contacted me after seeing me on TV and I went to meet him. He only called me to make himself feel better," she said her eyes filling with tears. "He wanted to apologize for running out on me and my mom. He was trying to make things right because he only had a few months to live, he was dying of cancer."

"I'm sorry," Eko said and she wiped her eyes.

"He asked me to do something for him because he wasn't able and that was why I was going to LA."

"What did he ask you to do?"

"My father and mother had me really late in their life and my father apparently did some bad things. He said he knew there was some guy searching for him and he had a letter he wanted me to give this guy."

"Did you agree to help?"

"Yes," she answered.

"The guy he wanted you to find, what was the guys name?"

"James Ford, I'll never find him now though."

"I don't guess you will," Eko said.

"Is it possible that those three men were on our flight?"

"Its possible," Eko told her.

"That would be good because there would be more of us," Stasia said. "Gives a slight glimmer of hope."

"I guess so," Eko replied.

* * *

Eko and Ana soon left again with Libby and when they returned they had the three men with them. They sat down and Ana and Eko talked to the rest of the group. A few minutes later Stasia noticed Bernard walk over to them and when he finished talking to them he looked happy. Stasia walked towards him.

"Rose is ok?" he told Stasia.

"Your wife?" Stasia asked.

"She's on their side of the island," Bernard said.

"That's great Bernard, there's a chance you could see her again."

"Yeah there is," he said and walked away. Stasia walked over to them.

"Hi, I'm Stasia," she said.

"I'm Michael," one of them said. "This is Jin, he doesn't speak much English only Korean," he added. "And this is…"

"Sawyer," he interrupted and Stasia turned her gaze to him.

"Ah, the trouble maker," Stasia said.

"Hey I…"

"I was joking, but they don't like me to much either," she told him. "Now let me see your arm."

"You a doctor?" Sawyer asked.

"No," she answered and moved to sit beside him. "But let me see anyway," she added and Sawyer looked over at her.

"Your eyes are really blue," Sawyer told her.

"Is that a compliment or complaint?" she asked.

"Compliment," Sawyer told her. "They're nice, I like them."

"Thanks, some people think they are to blue, like so blue they're freaky, but they help me stand out."

"You look familiar," Sawyer said.

"We've never met," Stasia told him. "Your arm," she said but Sawyer ignored her.

"But I've seen you," Sawyer said.

"You might have," Stasia said as Eko walked over.

"Anastasia," Eko said and she looked up at him. "Over here," he added and she nodded and stood up and walked with Eko.

Sawyer, Michael and Jin watched as they discussed what to do with them. A few minutes later Ana walked over and told them to help gather food and water because they were walking back to their side of the island.


	3. You miss me

Rating: M

Disclaimer: I do not own Lost or anything you recognize. Stasia and Cole are my characters.

Feedback: Please let me know what you think.

Summary: Stasia was a singer in the tail section of the plane. She was in Australia visiting her father and her father asked her to deliver a letter to him for a man named James Ford. When the plane crashes she thinks she'll never find this James Ford until one day she finds him in the last person she expected.

Its better than it sounds, I just wanted to throw another character in the mix of the whole Jack, Sawyer, Kate thing.

* * *

When they got outside, Ana sent Libby and Michael to get fruit and some others to get water. Ana, Eko and Jin were going to get fish.

"And Stasia, you get to stay with the Redneck."

"His name's Sawyer," she told her.

"Whatever, just stay with him," she ordered.

"There isn't anything else I can do?" she asked.

"What you actually going to help out?" Ana asked. "You going to do something besides stand still and look pretty?"

"That is not all I do and you have no right to judge me, you know nothing about me," Stasia told her and turned around and walked away.

Stasia sighed and walked over to Sawyer.

"Well hey Blue," he said. "You not helping out."

"Nope my job is to stay with you."

"Well at least I'll have a nice view," Sawyer said.

"Well aren't you as charming as a rattlesnake," Stasia said. Sawyer raised his eyebrows at her.

"So where do I recognize you from?"

"Not now," she told him.

"You ok?" he asked.

"I'm fine," she told him and looked away from him, she ran her fingers through her hair.

"You said some people think your eyes are freaky."

"Yeah, it was even suggested I change them, you know get colored contacts."

"But why would you want to cover up eyes like that?" Sawyer asked. "They're pretty."

"Thanks," she said brushing her brown hair out of her eyes.

"Where you from?" Sawyer asked. "The south right?"

"Yeah Georgia," she answered.

"I thought so," Sawyer said and Stasia pulled a notebook out of her bag and wrote something in it.

"What you doing?" he asked.

"Trying to write a song, but I don't think I ever will." She told him. "I've been working on this other song for over a year and I can't even finish it."

"Yeah you will and I want to hear both of them when you do," he told her. "Or at least read it."

"Alright," she said nodding.

Suddenly Libby ran over and talked to Ana. Ana stood up.

"We move now."

"Where's Michael?"

"He ran off, we have to leave before he tells them where we are," Ana said.

"Michael," Jin said to Sawyer. "He's not leaving without his son, Walt, Michael's not leaving without Walt," Sawyer said. "In case you haven't noticed its every man for himself Chewey," he added and Stasia walked away.

"We move now, lets go," Ana said but Jin was determined not to leave without Michael and him and Eko almost fight over it. Eko finally agrees to help him and Ana tells him they'll move on without him.

* * *

Stasia decided to walk in the back with Sawyer. As they were walking she kept looking back to see if he was ok.

"See something you like blue?"

"No," she answered and kept walking. Stasia felt Sawyer watching her.

"Stop looking at me," Stasia told him.

"How can I not look at you when you're walking right in front of me."

"Are you at least enjoying the view?" she asked.

"Oh, very much," Sawyer said smirking and they kept walking.

Sawyer wouldn't be able to keep up with this pace much longer and he finally stopped and sat down. Ana looked back.

"Stop," Ana said and walked over to him and handed him some water. Stasia walked away so they could talk. After a while Sawyer stood up.

"What's everyone waiting for, let's go," he said and walked on. Ana let out a sigh and they followed him.

As they were walking Sawyer looked back.

"She's in the back," Ana said.

"Oh," Sawyer said and he went to the back with Stasia.

"Hey Blue."

"You miss me already, its been like what five minutes," Stasia said.

"You don't ignore me," Sawyer said.

"Sawyer, I don't think you let anyone ignore you," Stasia said.

"Maybe,' he said. "But you talk to me because you want to."

"Maybe," she teased as they continued walking.

* * *

As it gets dark Ana stops and they all sit down. After few minutes of sitting they all start to think they should keep moving.

"Shouldn't we get moving again?" a woman asked.

"Let him rest for a while," Ana replied.

"But what if they come?"

"She's lost," Sawyer said.

"I am not lost," Ana informed him.

"Well then tell me which way do we go?" Sawyer asked.

"Alright genius, which way do you think we go then?" Ana asked.

"Hey I'm with you, sit tight and wait for Mr. Eko," Sawyer said.

"If your friend didn't run off, Eko would still be here, you didn't have any problem leaving him behind," Ana said.

"Hey, Michael only cares about himself and his kid and neither of them's got anything to do with me."

"Glad you feel that way," Michael said and Sawyer turned to look at him.

"I didn't expect to see you again," Sawyer said and Jin bent down and looked at Sawyer's arm and said some stuff in Korean.

"Yeah I know my arm's about to fall off," Sawyer said.

"It's not going to fall off," Stasia told him. "You're going to be ok."

"We need to move," Eko told Ana. "I saw them."

"Let's move out now," Ana told everyone and they all stood up to leave.

Everyone followed Eko as he led them back to the guy's camp on the beach. Its clear Sawyer's struggling to keep and he finally falls down.

"Damn it," he groaned holding his shoulder.

"Sawyer," Stasia said and she bent down in front of him. Libby joined her.

"I'm ok, I'm fine," he told them.

"Why don't you just let us look at your shoulder," Stasia said.

"How did you get shot?" Libby asked.

"With a gun," Sawyer answered.

"You always such a smartass?" Stasia asked and Sawyer looked at her.

"He got shot trying to protect my kid," Michael told them.

"Its bad right?" Sawyer asked.

"I've seen worse," Stasia told him.

"Its bad, but that bad," Libby told him. "You're going to be ok," she added and Michael helped him stand and they all continued to walk.

* * *

"We need a break," Eko said when he saw Sawyer still struggling to keep up.

"Five minutes," Ana said and they all sat down.

Eko and Ana talked. Eko told her they needed to go through the jungle to get back to their camp. When they all start walking again that's what they do. Its clear Sawyer is in a lot of pain and Jin is saying something to him in Korean.

"Shhh," Stasia said to them. "Not so loud." She added and he kept talking. Ana ran over to him.

"Shut up," she said.

"We can't talk?" Michael asked.

"They might hear us," Ana said.

"I thought they were a day behind us," Michael said.

"How about you shut your mouth and get your buddy moving," Ana said and walked away.

"What's the matter with you people?" Michael asked. "If you want to go back with us that's fine, but I want to know what happened."

Ana told him how they came the first night they were on the island and took three of them. Then two weeks later they took nine more. She told Michael that they could be anywhere watching them.

"So Now Let's move," Ana said.


	4. Is he Playing Golf?

**A/N: I'm trying to put flashbacks throughout the story of Stasia's life before the crash. Like with her and her mom so you can see where she came from and maybe what makes her the way she is. I hope you like it. Also I'm sorry if it seems rushed but I want to get them back to the other side of the island so I can start writing some stuff with Stasia and Jack. Kind of a boring chapter but its necessary for stuff that's going to happen later. Anyway, enjoy the chapter. **

Rating: M

Disclaimer: I do not own Lost or anything you recognize. Stasia and Cole are my characters.

Feedback: Please let me know what you think.

Its better than it sounds, I just wanted to throw another character in the mix of the whole Jack, Sawyer, Kate thing.

* * *

Eko continued to lead them on. Stasia looked over at Sawyer.

"Sawyer," she said. "You're not going to keep up much longer," she added as they kept walking.

"I'm fine blue," he said but she knew he wasn't.

Jin finally helped him to stay up and walk as they continued. Michael tried to help.

"You suddenly give a damn about me, just leave me alone both of you," Sawyer said and he walked off and fell down.

"Sawyer," Stasia said and ran over to him. "Sawyer don't you dare go to sleep on me," she told him as she ran her finger over his face.

"Blue," he said.

"You're going to be fine," she said running her finger over his face.

"So tell me something people are shocked to hear about you."

"I have a tattoo," she told him.

"Really, where?"

"When you live through this maybe you'll find out," she told him.

"I bet it's really on your ass," he said and passed out.

"Sawyer, Sawyer," she said.

"We gotta move," Ana said.

"What!" Michael exclaimed.

"You wanna stay that's fine but the rest of us gotta keep moving," Ana told him.

"We can't just leave him," Bernard said.

"We need to push on," Ana said.

"We can't leave him here," Stasia said looking over at Ana.

"Oh now the pampered little Princess speaks up and wants to do something besides stand still and look pretty," Ana said.

"We can't just leave him and regardless of what you may think my life has not been easy. You don't know me at all. You can go on if you want but I'm staying," she said. "At least I'm not an uptight bitch," she added to herself and then looked at Eko. "Mr. Eko," Stasia said. "We have to do something."

"Help me make a stretcher," Michael said and Eko nodded and Michael told him and Bernard what he needed and they went to find it. Michael makes a stretcher and they all help carry Sawyer back to their camp.

* * *

FLASHBACK

_Stasia walked into the small shabby house she lived in with her mom.._

"_Hey momma," Stasia said._

"_How was school Anastasia?" her mom asked._

"_Its school," she replied throwing her bag down and sitting on the couch. The couch cushions were torn and her mom had thrown an old blanket over it to cover it up. Stasia was sure the couch would fall apart any day._

"_What's bothering you sweetie?"_

"_There's going to be a father/daughter thing at school, all the girls are really excited about it," she told her mom and sighed._

"_I know you've missed out on a lot of stuff because you don't have a dad and I'm sorry about that," her mom said._

"_Its not your fault, he chose not to be with us," she said. _

"_Yes he did," her mom said. "And I'm sorry I can't give you the life you deserve," her mom said quietly._

"_You know I used to be upset about that, but I've realized that there are people who don't have a home or food on the table. At least I have that," she said and picked up her bag and went to her room. Stasia threw her bag down on the torn carpet and looked down at the mattress on the floor that was her bed, the mattress that she had patched up with duct tape so the springs wouldn't stick her in her back at night; and then at the peeling paint on the walls. Tears slipped down her cheeks._

They climbed up a hill, passing Sawyer along to get him up. When they get to the top Ana looks around and notices Cindy is gone.

"Where's Cindy?" Ana asked looking around.

"She was right behind me," Stasia said and they looked down the hill.

"She's gone," Ana said and pulled her gun out. Then they all hear a strange whispering.

"Oh no," Stasia said looking around.

"What's that?" Michael asked.

"Oh god," Libby said.

* * *

It started to rain and Ana heard something and she fired her gun and shot Shannon. Sayid looks over at Ana, angry and upset. Michael walked out and sees Sayid holding Shannon and he's shocked and they all just look at each other for a few seconds, until Sayid pulled a gun out and walked forward. Eko stopped him and then Sayid and Eko started to fight. Finally Ana hit Sayid over the head.

"Hey," Michael said running forward. Ana picked the gun up and pointed it at him.

"Don't move," Ana demanded

"Don't point that at me," Michael told her.

"I said don't move," she told him.

"What's your problem?" Michael asked and Ana fired the gun.

"Are you crazy?" Michael asked her.

"We need to tie him up," Ana told Eko.

"I will not tie him up," Eko calmly told her.

"He tried to kill you," Ana said.

"You shot his girlfriend," Stasia told her. "If you had shot someone I loved I'd want to kill you to," she added.

"Shut up," Ana told her and she looked at Eko.

"We need to tie him up," Ana repeated.

"No," Eko said and he walked over to check on Sawyer.

Ana told Libby to tie him up using the binds from the stretcher.

"Ana, Sawyer needs a doctor or he'll die," Libby told her.

"I know what I'm doing," Ana said and Libby went to do what she asked.

Eko is checking on Sawyer when Sayid wakes up and demands to be untied. Eko picks up Sawyer and walks away.

"Where are you going?" Ana asked.

"I'm taking him back to his camp."

"Don't leave," Ana said.

"I'm going to," Stasia said.

"Why do either of you want to help him. If that were you, he'd let you die," Ana told them.

"I'm not doing it for him, I'm doing it for me," Eko said and he walked off, Stasia followed him.

* * *

When Eko and Stasia finally find someone, he's playing golf.

"Is he playing golf?" Stasia asked Eko but just then the guy looks over shocked to see Eko carrying Sawyer and he backs away.

"Where is the doctor?" Eko asks and the guy is to shocked to speak.

"Are you the doctor?" Stasia asked. The man still looked shocked but he nodded. "Do you talk?"

"I'm sorry, I'm a bit shocked," he said.

"Well he needs help," Stasia told him.

"This way," he said and Eko and Stasia followed.

* * *

Jack led them to the Hatch and he put Sawyer in the shower to bring his fever down. Jack talks to the woman that was with him and tells her to go get some supplies and Jack looks at his shoulder as Stasia watches. The bald man that was in there walks over and a beeping sound starts. Stasia looks around.

"John, are you going to get that?" he asked and the man walked away and Jack cut Sawyer's shirt off of him.

Jack moved Sawyer to the bed so he could clean and bandage his shoulder. Stasia followed.

"Would it be better if I just got out of your way?" Stasia asked and he looked at her.

"What happened?"

"He was shot when we found him," Stasia told him. "They shot him. Michael said Sawyer was trying to protect his kid."

"Walt," Jack said.

"Yeah they took him," Stasia said.

"The others," Jack said.

"Yeah they took Walt," She said as Jack cleaned Sawyer's arm. "I'm Stasia and the man that I was with that's Mr. Eko."

"I'm Jack," he said. "The other guy in here that's John Locke and Kate, that's the woman that went to get some supplies," he said as Kate ran back in and over to Jack.

"I'm just going to go, you don't need me in your way," Stasia said and she walked away.

* * *

By the time she got to the beach Libby was there so she walked over to her.

"Hey," Stasia said.

"Stasia, I'm so glad to see you," Libby said. "How's Sawyer?"

"Jack, that's the doctor, he's looking after him now," Stasia told her. "He'll be fine."

I know its short and boring but like i said, its necessary for some other stuffi have planned later. Review.


	5. About that tattoo?

**A/N: I'm trying to put flashbacks throughout the story of Stasia's life before the crash. Like with her and her mom so you can see where she came from and maybe what makes her the way she is. I hope you like it. Also I'm sorry if it seems rushed but I want to get them back to the other side of the island so I can start writing some stuff with Stasia and Jack. I also decided this might lean more toward Jack/oc instead of Sawyer/oc, but I still haven't decided who she'll end up with yet. I'm also slowly intriducing some of the other characters from the show in this and the next chapters. so if you're reading please review.**

Rating: M

Disclaimer: I do not own Lost or anything you recognize. Stasia and Cole are my characters.

Feedback: Please let me know what you think.

* * *

Stasia decided that while everyone was at the funeral for Shannon she would go check on Sawyer. Jack told her Kate was with him. Stasia walked to the hatch but when she got there Kate wasn't with him and Sawyer was on the floor face down and that beeping sound had started again.

"Sawyer!" Stasia exclaimed running over to him. "Sawyer!" she said bending down "I can't lift you by myself, I don't want to hurt you," Stasia said. The beeping was still going on but Stasia had no clue how to stop it. Stasia tried to turn Sawyer on his back but she wasn't having much luck with that either. Stasia stood up and walked over to a computer and looked up and saw a counter that seemed to be counting down to zero. Suddenly Jack and Locke ran in.

"What's going on?" Jack asked.

"Kate was gone when I got here and Sawyer was on the ground and that beeping sound had already started. But I don't know what that beeping sound is so I couldn't stop it," Stasia told him. I tried to turn Sawyer over but I couldn't. He's to heavy for me to lift," She told Jack getting upset. "I didn't know what to do," she told him as tears ran down her cheeks.

"Its ok, you did fine," Jack said and wiped the tears that ran down her cheeks. Jack then went over to Sawyer and Stasia followed him as Locke went to the computer and typed something in and the beeping stopped and the counter flipped to 108. Jack lifter Sawyer onto the bed and Stasia pushed his legs on the bed.

"I was coming to see how he was doing," Stasia said.

"Its ok," Jack told her and he checked Sawyer over.

"Will you stay with him, I'm going to find Kate and see if I can find out what happened," Jack told her.

"Yeah of course," Stasia said and Jack left. Stasia sat down by Sawyer's bed. Locke walked over.

"Hello," he said.

"Hi," Stasia replied.

"John Locke," he said.

"Hello Mr. Locke…"

"Call me John," he said.

"John, of course. I'm Stasia."

"Stasia," he repeated.

"Anastasia," she told him and he nodded. "Can I ask you a question?"

"Of course," Locke said.

"What's that beeping about?"

"Oh that," Locke said and he explained about the film, entering the code every 108 minutes and about Desmond.

"You believe that," she asked. "That it's going to save the world."

"Yes I do," he said. "I'm going for a walk, I'll be back before its time to enter the code."

"Ok," she said and he left.

* * *

A few days later Stasia and the other new people are settling in finally. Stasia hasn't seen Sawyer much since they brought him back. She knew Jack managed to fix him and that he seemed to be ok now. She looked across the island and saw Sawyer with Kate; she was giving him a haircut. He seemed to be feeling better.

"Stasia," someone said and she looked up.

"Hey Michael."

"You could just go over and talk to him you know,' Michael said.

"Huh?" she asked confused.

"Sawyer, you could just go over and talk to him."

"No, he's busy," Stasia said.

"Have you met Hurley?"

"No," she said looking at the big guy with him. "Hi Hurley."

"Hurley this is Stasia."

"Hi," Hurley said.

"Come on walk with us," Michael said.

"What?"

"Just do it," Michael said and she stood up and walked with them. They walked towards Sawyer and Kate.

"Yo Sawyer, glad you're back man," Hurley said and walked away.

"Yo yourself Pillsbury," Sawyer mumbled and Michael followed Hurley.

"I'm Kate," the woman said.

"Hi, I'm Stasia," she said and Stasia turned to Sawyer. "Hey," she said. "I'm glad you're feeling better."

"Thanks," Sawyer replied.

"You look good Sawyer," she said and he smiled. "Last time I saw you, you looked like shit."

"Hey," he said and she walked away.

"Hey Blue," Sawyer said. And she turned around.

"What?"

"Don't we have a bet to settle?"

"I don't know what you're talking about," she said and walked away.

* * *

Later when Kate finished giving Sawyer his haircut he went to find Stasia. He found her talking to Claire.

"Hey," Sawyer said and Stasia turned to look at him.

"Hey Sawyer," she said.

"We need to talk," Sawyer said.

"Sure," Stasia told him. "I'll see you later," she told Claire and left with Sawyer.

"I believe we have a bet to settle," Sawyer said.

"I have no idea what you're talking about," she told Sawyer and they continued to walk.

"About that tattoo of yours," he said.

"What about it?" she asked.

"You going to tell me where it's at?"

"No," she said.

"But you said…" she stopped walking, Sawyer stopped as well.

"I said when you lived maybe you'd find out, I never said I would tell you," she told him crossing her arms.

"So no hint?"

"Nope, you have to find it," she told him.

"It's probably on your ass or something," he muttered.

"It is not, I would never get a tattoo on my ass," she told him.

"Well strip down so I can find it," Sawyer said smirking.

"Nope," she told him smiling, "It's not going to be that easy."

"So how…"

"You'll find it eventually," she told him.

"What do I get when I do?" he asked.

"What do you want?" she asked putting her hands on her hips.

"A kiss," he said.

"A kiss," she repeated. "What are you 12?"

"Ok sweaty, hot jungle sex," Sawyer told her taking a step closer to her.

"Fine a kiss," she agreed.

"Alright,' Sawyer said he slipped his arms around her and started to lift her shirt up.

"Stop," she said laughing. "What are you doing?"

"Trying to find that tattoo of yours," he said.

"Nice try, maybe next time," she said and pulled her shirt down and walked away.

* * *

Stasia spent the next few days trying to get to know everyone's names. She had met Claire and her baby Aaron, Hurley, Charlie, Sun, Sayid, Jack, Kate, Locke and pretty much everyone else.

"Well not on your ankles," Sawyer said and Stasia looked up at him.

"Huh?" she asked confused.

"Your tattoo," he said.

"Nope not on my ankles," she said and he walked away. She sighed as Jack sat down beside her.

"Stasia," he said.

"Yeah," she said.

"You doing ok?" he asked.

"I'm fine," she replied.

"What was that all about?" Jack asked referring to Sawyer.

"Sawyer," she said and he nodded.

"He's trying to find my tattoo," she told him.

"Oh," he said. "Where's it at?"

"On my back," she said and she lifted her shirt up in the back and Jack looked. She had the Tasmanian devil tattooed on the center of her back.

"Nice," Jack said. "Cute," he added smiling.

"Thanks," she said smiling

"I'll see you later," Jack said and he got up and walked away.

* * *

Stasia sighed and pulled the letter out of her back pocket. She'd never find out who James Ford was now and what her dad wanted him to know. It probably wasn't good anyway. She knew her dad had done some bad things in his life, he probably ruined this James guys life or something like that.

* * *

Charlie walked over to her.

"Hey," Charlie said.

"Hi Charlie," she replied.

"So I've seen you before, I've met you before."

"Yeah you have," she said.

"You going to tell me where I know you from?"

"Maybe," she said.

"Your name's Stasia," he said.

"Yeah," she answered and he looked at her.

"I know," he said. "You were the opening act for Driveshaft."

"Yeah I was," she replied.

"You were a really good singer," Charlie said. "You stick with that?"

"Yeah I was working on my third album and fixing to start my first world tour, until I crashed here. Now I won't be doing any of that."


	6. Wish for You

**A/N: This chapter is kind of long. The song Stasia sings in this chapter is Wish for you by Faith Hill and its on her album titled Fireflies. Anyway I hope you enjoy this chapter and please review even if its just to say good chapter or a comment or suggestion to help me improve. **

Rating: M

Disclaimer: I do not own Lost or anything you recognize. Stasia and Cole are my characters.

Feedback: Please let me know what you think.

Its better than it sounds, I just wanted to throw another character in the mix of the whole Jack, Sawyer, Kate thing.

* * *

The next day Aaron was crying uncontrollably. Claire tried everything to calm him down. She changed him, fed him, talked to him, walked with him, and rocked him. Then Charlie tried and Hurley tried and a few other people tried as well but nothing seemed to work. Finally Stasia walked over.

"Hey Claire," she said smiling.

"Hi Stasia," Claire said it was clear she was upset. "I'm sorry if he's disturbing you but I've tried everything. If Sawyer was around he could talk to Aaron, for some reason he likes the sound of Sawyer's voice. He likes Sawyer."

"I haven't seen Sawyer this morning," Stasia replied as Aaron continued to cry.

"Can I try?" Stasia asked and Claire nodded and handed him to her.

"Hey there," Stasia said to Aaron. "You sure are a cute little boy," she added smiling at him. He was still crying. "How about a song?" she asked. "You like songs?" she asked him and she started to sing.

"A setting sun that paints a tie-dyed sky. A feather bed, an ancient lullaby. A kiss good night from one whose love is true. That's the kind of day I wish for you."

As Stasia sang everyone stopped to listen. Her voice was beautiful and sweet. Sawyer came back from where ever he was at this time and heard her singing and saw her with Aaron and noticed how natural she looked as she continued to sing.

"A field of flowers dancing in the spring. A little creek, a tree, an old rope swing. Cotton candy clouds against the blue. That's the kind of day I wish for you. First love with all it storm, raging like fire within, tossing your heart to chance you swear the dance will never end. But then it does and someone says goodbye and after all those empty nights you cried the morning that you wake up good as new, that's the kind of day I wish for you. The faith of knowing deep inside your heart, that heaven holds more than just some stars. Someone's out there watching over you, that's the kind of day I wish for you."

When Stasia finished Aaron was asleep.

"He's asleep," she said. "You should put him to bed," she added.

"Thank you," Claire said and she nodded and handed Aaron to Claire.

"Your welcome," Stasia said and she walked away.

* * *

Sawyer followed her.

"Hey Blue," he called out and she stopped.

"Hey Sawyer," she replied.

"I heard you singing," he told her. "You have the prettiest voice I've ever heard."

"I doubt that but thanks," she said.

"The song you sang was pretty," he said. "I don't think I ever heard it before."

"Probably not," she said.

"Did you write it?" he asked.

"No," she told him and he looked at her.

"Do you sing professionally?"

"Yeah," she answered.

"That's why I know you isn't it?"

"Yeah it is," she told him. "But I'm stuck here, so that's over now."

"Hey not necessarily, when we get off this island, you can have a comeback tour," Sawyer said.

"Yeah I guess," she replied and turned around to sit down, Sawyer saw her tattoo peak out when her shirt rose up. She pulled her shirt down and sat down. Sawyer sat beside her and smiled. She looked over at him.

"Claire said her baby liked you," Stasia said.

"I guess he does," Sawyer shrugged.

"She said the sound of your voice calmed him before."

"Yeah, I read to him one time to keep him quiet," Sawyer told her.

"Well you can't be all bad if a little innocent baby likes you," Stasia pointed out and he shrugged. "Maybe that baby sees something in you no one else does," Stasia added.

"What?"

"That you really are a good guy," Stasia told him.

"Do you really believe that?" Sawyer asked.

"Yeah," she told him and they were quiet.

"That's the great thing about babies they trust completely and love unconditionally," Stasia sighed.

"You ok?" he asked.

"I'm fine," she told him.

"You got a boyfriend missing you back home Blue?" he asked.

"No," she replied.

"Why not?" he asked. "I'm sure some guys had to ask, you're beautiful."

"I'm not beautiful," she argued.

"Yeah you are," Sawyer said.

"No I'm not," she argued.

"Blue, I have eyes, I can see and you're beautiful," he told her. "And judging by the way some of these other guys are looking at you, I'd say they agree with me."

"What other guys?"

"Jack, Sayid, Hurley," he said. "To name a few."

"Jack, really?" she asked. "Because I've talked to him a few times and I never got that from him."

"Yes Jack," Sawyer told her.

"Does that bother you?" she asked.

"Of course not," Sawyer told her but Stasia wasn't so sure she believed him.

"I'm going back to the beach," she said and stood up. "I'll see you later," she added and walked off.

* * *

A few hours later when Stasia is walking back form getting some water and she saw Sawyer talking to Kate, they seem to be in an intense conversation. Stasia wondered why them together upset her so much. She hadn't even known Sawyer that long, she shouldn't be feeling the way she was feeling about him. She hadn't wanted to feel anything for any man since Cole. When Kate left she walked over to him.

"Sawyer," she said.

"Hey Blue," he said smirking.

"Why do you want me to kiss you if you have her?" Stasia asked putting her hands on her hips.

"Freckles?" Sawyer asked. "There's nothing going on between us, not that I haven't thought about it," he added.

"She's gorgeous I know you had to think about it," Stasia sighed.

"You jealous Blue?" he asked smirking.

"No I have no reason to be jealous," Stasia told him. "I was just asking," she added and turned to walk away, but Sawyer grabbed her arm.

"Blue," he said and she turned to look at him. "If you want me all you have to do is say so," he added and let go of her arm, Stasia just walked away.

* * *

Stasia sat down in front of the ocean and looked out.

"Stasia," someone said and she looked up.

"Sayid," she replied and he sat down by her.

"You look a million miles away, are you ok?"

"I wish I was a million miles away," she sighed. "Anywhere but here."

"Don't we all," Sayid replied.

"I guess so," she said.

"Everything's ok?"

"Yeah, I'm fine," she replied.

* * *

When he left Sawyer walked over to her.

"Blue," he said and she looked up at him.

"Yeah."

"Take a walk with me?" he asked holding his hand out.

"Ok," she agreed nodding her head and she placed her hand in his and stood up.

Sawyer led her into the jungle a little way before he stopped and sat down. Stasia sat down beside him.

"You want something?" she asked.

"Center of your back," Sawyer said.

"Huh?" she asked confused.

"That's where your tattoo is. Tasmanian Devil."

"When did you find it?"

"A few hours ago," he answered.

"Why didn't you say something then?"

"I don't know," he told her.

"Oh," she said. "So you found my tattoo."

"Yep, so how about that kiss."

"A deals a deal," Stasia said.

"You have to kiss me," Sawyer told her.

"Fine," she sighed and she scooted closer to him and leaned in. Her lips met his and she intended it to be a quick peck on the lips, but when she went to pull away Sawyer tangled his fingers in her hair to hold her to him and deepened the kiss. Stasia just melted into him, sliding her hands up his chest and around his neck. Their tongues danced together and Stasia had never had a kiss make her feel like she was on fire. It had been a little over two years since she kissed a man anyway. When Sawyer tried to pull away, she grabbed his shirt and pulled him to her and continued to kiss him. When they finally broke apart they could barely breath.

"Wow," Stasia finally managed to get out.

"That's an understatement," Sawyer said and they both sat there staring at each other.

"Next time you kiss me, kiss me because you want to, not because of a bet," he added.

"Ok," she agreed and she grabbed his shirt and pulled him to her and kissed him again. Unaware that some had seen everything that just happened.

"Damn Blue," Sawyer said. "You got anymore tattoos I can find?"

"One more," she answered.

"On your ass," he said.

"No, what is your infatuation with my ass?" she asked.

"It's a nice ass," he told her smirking.

"Stop," she said smacking him on the arm.

"Where's it at?"

"My shoulder," she told him.

"So can I see?" he asked.

"Maybe," she teased. "You kiss me this time." Sawyer looked at her and leaned over and his lips met hers. Stasia thought she could do this all day, just sit here and make-out with Sawyer.

"So," Sawyer said when he pulled away. Stasia stood up and lifted her shirt and Sawyer looked. It was a butterfly and the inside of the butterfly looked like a tiger, it was orange and black." "You got anymore tattoo's I can find?" he asked sliding his arms around her waist.

"Sorry that's it," she told him. "Just two." She said as she slid her arms around his neck.

"To bad for me," Sawyer said.

"We should probably head back," Stasia said.

"Yeah I guess so," Sawyer agreed but neither one of them moved.

"We should really go," Stasia said again but they didn't move. "You're not moving."

"You're not either," Sawyer pointed out.

"I don't really want to," she admitted.

"You just want to stay here all day?" he asked.

"Sure."

"With me?" he said.

"Yeah," she said smiling.

"Really?" he asked shocked.

"Yeah Sawyer really," she told him. He walked a few steps away from her.

"Sawyer," she said confused.

"We just met a little over a week ago," he told her.

"I know that," she said. "I like you Sawyer," she told him and he turned around.

"Why me?" he asked.

"You can't say you don't feel anything Sawyer, not after the way you just kissed me."

"I didn't say that," Sawyer told her taking a step closer to her. "I asked you why me?"

"Because from the moment I met you I felt alive again," she told him. "I haven't felt that way in over two years," she told him taking his hands in hers. "For over two years I haven't felt anything much at all except the pain of losing Cole," she told him. "Then I got stranded here and met you and I began to feel something again."

"For me?" he asked shocked.

"Yes Sawyer, for you," she told him again. "You don't believe me."

"Of course I do," Sawyer said. "It's just…"

"I feel more like me since I met you that I have for the past two years," she told him.

"Blue, you don't really want me," he said.

"Didn't you say if I wanted you all I had to do was say so?" she asked.

"Yeah."

"Well maybe I want you," she said.

"You don't want me," he said quietly.

"What?" she asked.

"You don't really want me Blue," he repeated.

"Is that because you don't want me?" she asked.

"Blue…"

"I mean you make me kiss you, you make me feel something for you and then you do this to me," she said letting go of his hands and walking away.

"Blue wait," he said.

"Why Sawyer? So you can make me feel more like an idiot than I already am?"

"You're not an idiot," he told her.

"Yeah I am," she said and walked away.

"Blue wait," Sawyer said but she kept on walking. He went after her.

"Damn it Blue," he said trying to catch up with her. "Anastasia wait!" he exclaimed grabbing her arm.

"What!" she yelled.

"Don't you get it? I'm not good enough for you."

"Don't give me that Sawyer because its just bullshit," she said angrily. "If you don't want me all you had to do was say so."

"I never said I didn't want you," he told her letting go of her arm. "I think you should calm down and listen to what I have to say."

"Fine I'm listening," she said crossing her arms.

"Blue, its not that I don't want you because I do, oh God I do" he explained running his hands up and down her sides. "I'd be crazy not to want someone as beautiful and sweet and sexy as you," he told her.

"I want you to so what's the problem," Stasia asked.

"You shouldn't want someone like me," Sawyer said.

"Sawyer don't do that. I make my own decisions and I can want you if I want to, if I want to kiss you again I will," she told him.

"Oh you will huh?" he asked smirking.

"Yeah I will," she told him. "Now tell me the truth, Does this have anything to do with Kate?"

"No, not at all, I mean maybe there was a time when I wanted her."

"How could you not, she's gorgeous," Stasia said quietly.

"So are you," Sawyer told her.

"So you're trying to tell me you don't want her anymore," Stasia said.

"Yes I am," Sawyer told her and she looked at him. "You don't believe me."

"I didn't say that," she said.

"You didn't have to, I can tell by the way you're looking at me."

"Sawyer, everything with us is happening so fast," Stasia said. "I just want the truth tell me right now if you don't want me and I'll walk away from you forever."

"Forever's a long time Blue and we're stuck together," Sawyer said.

"So," she said.

"I want you blue, so much."

"That's all I need to know," she told him sliding her arms up his chest and resting her hands on his shoulders. Sawyer smiled and leaned down and kissed her.

"Who's Cole?" he asked.

"Another time, I'll tell you another time," she said and he nodded.

"You finished that song yet?" he asked.

"No," she told him.

"Well maybe if you showed me what you had, I could help."

"You're going to help me write a song?" she asked.

"Yeah," he said.

"Alright," she agreed.

"We should head back," Sawyer suggested.

"Yeah lets go," Stasia agreed and they walked back to the beach.

"Well I'm going to get something to eat," Stasia said. "I'll see you later."

"Wait I'll go with you and you can show me this song of yours," Sawyer said and she nodded and they went to get something to eat.

"So how about you get your bag and meet me in my tent," Sawyer suggested.

"Alright," she agreed and handed Sawyer her fish and went to get her bag.


	7. Sawyer

**A/N: The song used in this chapter is Stand Still, Look Pretty by The Wreckers.**

Rating: M

Disclaimer: I do not own Lost or anything you recognize. Stasia and Cole are my characters.

Feedback: Please let me know what you think.

Its better than it sounds, I just wanted to throw another character in the mix of the whole Jack, Sawyer, Kate thing.

**

* * *

A few minutes later Stasia joined Sawyer at his tent and they ate.**

"Are you going to sing me what you have so far?" Sawyer asked.

"Its not much at all and its not even the beginning of the song, there needs to be something before it," she told him. "But it was actually Ana Lucia who helped me write this."

"How?" Sawyer asked shocked.

"She always said that all I did was stand still and look pretty, there's a lot more to me than that," Stasia said.

"I know," Sawyer said.

"Ok so here's what I have," she said taking the notebook out of her bag and opening it. "I've kind of got the tune I want as well," she told him. "So this is what I have," she said and she started to sing. "I am slowly falling apart. I wish you'd take a walk in my shoes for a start, I know you think its easy being me. You just stand still, look pretty."

"So that's all you have?" he asked.

"I told you I didn't have much before we started."

"I know its kind of depressing, like you want to be someone else or something."

"Sometimes I wish I was," she admitted and started to write.

"What?" he asked and she held her hand up to silence him.

"I'm going to go work on this, I'll let you know when I get it done," she said and walked off.

* * *

She saw Charlie not far away and she walked over to him.

"Hey Charlie," she said.

"Hello Stasia," he said.

"I need a huge favor," she said.

"What?"

"Can I borrow your guitar for five minutes?" she asked. "I've been trying to write this song and I may be able to finish it," she said. "I lost my guitar in the crash, I'll never find it now."

"Was it Pink?"

"Yeah," she said.

"I saw a pink guitar a few days after we crashed, I don't know where it got off to." Charlie said. "But sure you can use mine," Charlie agreed.

"I'll take good care of it I promise," she said and walked off with the guitar.

* * *

She sat down on the sand and started to play the guitar and looked at the words she wrote before she left Sawyer's tent.

"I want to paint my face and pretend that I am someone else. Sometimes I get so fed up, I don't even want to look at myself." She sang. "I am slowly falling apart…No there needs to be something else." She said. "I don't want you to think I'm complaining all the time…" She stopped playing the guitar and wrote down what she and just sang. _She thought back, my life hasn't been easy but I've had it better than some people did. I may not have had much money but I did have a home._

"But people have problems that are worse than mine, I don't want you to think I'm complaining all the time. And I hate the way you look at me I have to say, I wish I could start over. I am slowly falling apart, I wish you'd take a walk in my shoes for a start. You might think it's easy being me. You just stand still, look pretty." She sang and slowly the rest of the song started to come to her and she put it together and smiled.

"I wrote a song," she said to herself and stood up and walked back to Charlie.

"Thanks," she said handing him his guitar.

"You're welcome," he said and walked to Sawyer's tent.

"Knock, Knock," she said and went inside. "I'm done," she told him.

"Do I get to hear?" he asked and she sat down.

"You sure you want to hear?"

"Yeah I do," he said.

"Alright," she said and she started to sing. "I want to paint my face and pretend that I am someone else. Sometimes I get so fed up, I don't even want to look at myself. "But people have problems that are worse than mine, I don't want you to think I'm complaining all the time. And I hate the way you look at me I have to say, I wish I could start over. I am slowly falling apart, I wish you'd take a walk in my shoes for a start. You might think it's easy being me. You just stand still, look pretty." She sang. "Sometimes I find myself shaking in the middle of the night. And then it hits me and I can't even believe this is my life. But people have problems that are worse than mine, I don't want you to think I'm complaining all the time. And I wish everyone would go and shut their mouths. I'm not strong enough to deal with it. I am slowly falling apart, I wish you'd take a walk in my shoes for a start. You might think it's easy being me. You just stand still, look pretty."

"Well," she said.

"Its kind of sad," Sawyer said.

"I know, its depressing," she said. "I had to write it you know, everyone's always referred to me as the pretty one, like I couldn't do anything else."

"You're more than just a pretty girl," Sawyer told her. "You just need to believe that."

"But its just wierd that i can write this song in just a few minutes and I've been working on another song for over a year and I can't finish it."

"You will."

_FLASHBACK_

_Stasia ran in her house after school._

"_Mom!" she said excited._

"_What is it?" her mom asked._

"_They're doing a production of Grease at our school and I tried out yesterday during my study hall," she told her mom smiling._

"_For who?"_

"_Sandy," she answered. _

"_You're not blonde," her mom told her._

"_I can always wear a wig," she said._

"_Have they announced who got it yet?"_

"_No they're doing call backs and I have a call back" she said smiling and her mom said nothing. "Are you going to say something?" she asked._

"_Why are you doing this?" her mom asked._

"_What do you mean?" she asked confused._

"_Anastasia, look around you. You see where we live and you want to do something like this," she told her. "Are you even a good enough singer?"_

"_I'm good enough to get a call back," she told her mom her eyes filling with tears. "Why are you acting like this, I thought you'd be happy for me," she said._

"_You need to accept your life, that its probably not going to get any better, accept it and move on," her mom told her. "You're pretty enough to be on stage, but I don't know if you're talented enough."_

* * *

It was later that afternoon and Michael ran off to search for Walt. Jack, Sawyer and Locke went to search for him. They didn't come back until the next morning and Kate was with them when they came back. Stasia started to walk towards them, she's walking from behind them so Sawyer doesn't see her but before she has a chance to say anything to him she hears something that makes her stop in her tracks.

"See ya James," Locke said.

"What?" Sawyer asked.

"James Ford, that's your name," Locke said and walked away.

Stasia couldn't believe what she heard. Sawyer wasn't the man she had been looking for. Not after all she had been through. She finally felt a connection with a man again, finally felt something and now he was possibly the guy she had been searching for. Sawyer turned around.

"Hey Blue," he said.

"Hey Sawyer," she said walking towards him.

"You alright?"

"I'm fine, why?" she asked.

"You looked shocked, like you just received some really bad news or lost your best friend."

"I might have," she whispered.

"Stasia."

"Just um…tell me I didn't hear John right. He called you James Ford."

"That's my real name Blue," he told her.

"Oh," she said trying to stop the tears.

"Who's Cole?"

"Not right now Sawyer, ok," she said and walked way. He followed her.

"Blue," he said and she stopped.

"You would tell me if something was wrong."

"Yeah, I just need to go for a walk and clear my head.

"Alright," Sawyer said and she walked away.

Stasia couldn't believe this. She could always hope that Sawyer wasn't the James Ford she had been going to see, but he probably was. She had to talk to him to find out. He would hate her now, just the same way he hated everyone else.

_FLASHBACK_

_Stasia had just finished a TV interview about her upcoming album. Her manager was telling her that it went extremely well. Then her cell phone rang and her manager picked it up._

"_Stasia," he said and she looked at him._

"_He said he's your father,"_

* * *

"Anastasia," someone said and she turned around.

"Hello John."

"Why are you out here by yourself?"

"I just needed to do some thinking."

"About what?" he asked.

"I heard you call Sawyer, James, James Ford."

"Yes I did, that's his real name."

"Yeah he said that to, I was just hoping it wasn't true."

"Why?" John asked.

"Well I was supposed to give a letter to a man named James Ford. That's one of the reason's I was on the plane."

"And you think the James Ford you're looking for is Sawyer."

"Yeah I do," she told him.

"Why?"

"Because the letter was from my father. He wasn't able to deliver it himself."

"But the letter could be for another James Ford," he pointed out.

"No it can't," she argued.

"And just why not? Why are you so sure?" he asked.

"Because I just know," she said. "Don't ask questions please."

"Anastasia, I normally wouldn't suggest this but you could just not tell him."

"The truth has a funny way of coming out," she said. "And anyway he'll be even madder if I don't tell him and he finds out," she said wiping her eyes. "Best to get it over with before I get to attached."

"To Sawyer?"

"Yeah" she answered. "I'll see you later John," she added and walked away.

_

* * *

__FLASHBACK_

_Stasia walked into her father's home._

"_Anastasia," he said and she looked at him._

"_Hi," she said. "I can't believe you called, you've been gone my whole life."_

"_I know and I'm sorry about that," he told her._

"_You're sorry." She said. "You run out on me and my mom and all you can say is I'm sorry," she said getting upset. "I wondered about you my whole life, I missed all the father/ daughter things as I was growing up and all you can say is you're sorry." she said. "Mom died just a few months ago, did you know about that?"_

"_Yes I did," he answered._

"_And you didn't even show up for her funeral or call or anything?" she asked._

"_Anastasia," her dad said._

"_What's wrong with you?"_

"_Anastasia, I'm dying," he said._

"_What?" she asked shocked._

"_I have cancer and its progressed to much to stop it, I have maybe two months." He said and tears ran down her cheeks._

"_I was wondering if you could do something for me," he asked._

"_What?"_

"_Take this letter to someone for me," he said._

"_This someone have a name?"_

"_James Ford."_

* * *

Stasia walked back to the beach to find Sawyer. He was talking to Kate. She walked over.

"Hey."

"Hey Blue," Sawyer said turning to look at her. "You ok?"

"I need to talk to you. I'm sorry I'm interrupting but it can't wait."

"Ok," Sawyer said.

"Go on, I'll see you later," Kate said and Stasia and Sawyer walked away.

They walked a little way into the jungle and Stasia stopped.

"You should probably sit down," she told him and he did. Stasia sat beside him.

"Before I tell you this, I just need to kiss you one more time because I don't know whether you'll talk to me or not after I tell what I'm about to tell you," she said and she leaned over and kissed him.

"Stasia," Sawyer said.

"Sawyer please," she said and he nodded and her lips touched his. She was kissing him as if she'd never see him again and the way she was acting was scaring him a little. She finally pulled away.

"Ok, I need to tell you the reason I was on the plane," she began. "I was going to LA to find a man named James Ford."

"And you think I'm the James Ford you're looking for."

"I hope you're not," she told him as her eyes filled with tears.

"Ok so you were trying to find a man with the same name as me," Sawyer said.

"Yeah, my father wanted me to give him a letter."

"So this letter's for me," Sawyer said.

"I think it is."

"Why?"

"Because my father's name is Sawyer," she told him


	8. Fireflies

**A/N: The song in this chapter are Fireflies by Faith Hill and the song Stasia is trying to write is Life Ain't always Beautiful by Gary Allen.**

* * *

"Did you just say your father's name is Sawyer?"

"Was Sawyer, he's dead now," she told him. "He wasn't much of a father anyway, but that's not the point," she said and she pulled the letter out of her pocket. "I never opened it to see what's inside but you'll know if its for you," she said handing it to him. "I'm sorry," she added and ran off.

Sawyer opened the letter and read it.

"Damn it," he said angrily and crumbled the letter up. It was for him. "Why does she have to be his daughter," he said. He straightened out the paper and looked at the letter again. He apologized for what he did. For ruining his life, being the reason he grew up without any parents. He wanted to apologize because he was dying.

Sawyer was angry, not necessarily at Stasia but at the letter, him dying. He walked back to the beach and saw Stasia sitting off by herself. He stormed over to her. She looked up when he was standing over her.

"Sawyer," she said and he pulled her up.

"It was for me," he told her. "Lets go," he added and he pulled her into the jungle with him.

"Where are we going?" she asked. "Let go of me, you're hurting my arm," she said and Sawyer turned to face her and slammed her into a tree hard.

"What did he tell you about me?" he asked. "Huh? What did he tell you?" he yelled.

"Nothing, nothing. I promise. All I knew is that letter was for a man named James, he told me nothing else."

"He wasn't supposed to die, I was supposed to kill him," Sawyer said.

"If it makes you feel any better he suffered a lot before he died," Stasia said.

"Why would that make me feel better?"

"It made me feel better," Stasia whispered and Sawyer let go of her. She rubbed her arms.

"Go," he said. "Just go and leave me alone"

"James," she said softly.

"GO!" he yelled and she ran off.

* * *

Stasia sat down on the beach and looked out over the water. Tears ran down her cheeks and she wiped them away. Jack was talking to Locke and he looked over and saw her sitting off by herself and he walked over.

"Stasia," he said sitting down beside her and she looked over at him.

"Hey Jack," she said softly.

"You doing ok?" he asked as Sawyer walked out of the Jungle. He looked over and saw Stasia and Jack talking.

"I'm fine Jack," she said looking away.

"You don't want to talk about whatever has you so upset?"

"No," she said shaking her head.

"Hey," he said and she looked at him. "Whatever it is, its going to be ok," he told her wiping her tears away with his thumbs.

"I don't think it is," she said and wiped her eyes.

Jack left a few minutes later and Natalie looked over and saw Claire trying to get Aaron to sleep. She walked over to her.

"Hey Claire, he's being a little fussy." Stasia said.

"Yes he is, I just fed him so he's not hungry."

"Yeah he should be good for a few hours," she stated.

"You look tired," Stasia said. "He looks sleepy to."

"He hasn't been sleeping well lately and so that means I haven't either," Claire said. Aaron was putting a good fight up, Stasia thought Aaron looked sleepy.

"Would you like a babysitter for a little while?" Stasia asked.

"Who?"

"Me," Stasia said. "I'll take Aaron for a little while and you get some rest," she told her.

"Are you serious? You would do that?" Claire asked shocked.

"Of course," Stasia said smiling.

"He likes your singing," Claire told her.

"You get some rest and I'll take him for a while," Stasia said and Claire nodded.

"Ok," she said and handed her Aaron.

"Go rest," Stasia said and walked off.

She carried Aaron back to the place she slept and spread a blanket out on the ground.

"You need to go to sleep," she told him rocking him in her arms. "You want a song?" she asked, he was still crying. "Before you met me I was a fairy princess. I caught frogs and called them prince and made myself a queen. Before you knew me I traveled 'round the world. I slept in castles and fell in love because I was taught to dream." Stasia looked down at Aaron, he was starting to calm down finally. "I found mayonnaise bottles and poked holes in the top to capture Tinkerbell. And they were fireflies to the untrained eye but I could always tell. I believe in fairytales and dreamers dreams like bed sheet sails. And I believe in Peter Pan and Miracles, anything I can to get by and Fireflies." Stasia looked down and Aaron was sleeping. She laid him down on the blanket to let him sleep.

After about an hour Claire came to get Aaron. He had just woken up.

"He just woke up."

"Thanks," she said. "I needed that."

"Every parent needs a chance to be by their self every now and then. Its all right."

"Thanks again," she said and picked Aaron up and walked off.

Stasia sighed and decided to go for a walk. She ran into Sun on her walk.

"Hello Stasia."

"Hi Sun," she said.

"Would you come and help me in my garden?"

"You want my help," she asked surprised.

"Yes, plus working takes your mind off things for a while. Come on," she said and smiled. Sun walked off and Stasia followed her.

Stasia and Sun worked in her garden for a little over an hour.

"Thanks Sun," Stasia said wiping her forehead with the back of her hand smearing dirt on her face. "It felt good to work."

"You go get cleaned up," Sun said and she went to walk away. "Stasia," she said and Stasia turned around. "You can come back anytime and help out."

"Thanks," Stasia said and walked off to go clean up.

* * *

On her way to clean up Stasia ran into Jack.

"Look at you," Jack said. "You've been helping Sun."

"Yeah I have."

"You're all dirty," Jack said. "You've got dirt, here," he said touching her cheek, "And here," said touching her other cheek. "And a lot of dirt here," Jack said running his finger over her forehead. "You don't have any dirt here though," he said squeezing her nose.

"Stop," Stasia said laughing as she pushed his hand away.

Sawyer was walking along at this time and he saw Stasia and Jack together and she was laughing as she pushed his hand away.

"I heard you singing to Aaron earlier," Jack said.

"Yeah, Claire needed some rest so I offered to watch Aaron for a little while," she told him.

"You're a singer aren't you?" Jack asked.

"Yeah I was working on my third album when I crashed here," she told him. "I was starting my very own tour in a few months." She said looking down.

"Hey," Jack said and she looked up at him.

"My first album, it was like bam, you know it went to number one, my songs were all over the radio. I was called an overnight sensation," she said. "Like I didn't work my butt off to get where I was. I always had to work twice as hard at everything to be half as good as anyone else," she said. "I finally accomplished my dream and now I'm here," she sighed.

"I know you had to work hard, the things we want the most are the things we work the hardest to get," Jack said.

"That's true, but I sat down and wrote a song in like twenty minutes the other day but I can't even finish a song I've been working on for over a year." Stasia told him.

"You'll finish it, Some things come easier than others. You just have a block, you'll finish it. Don't give up on it," Jack told her.

"I'm not going to," she told him.

"Well I think I want to get cleaned up," she told Jack.

"You go do that," he said and Stasia walked off. Sawyer was still watching her and Jack and Stasia was walking towards him.

"Hey Blue," he said.

"James," she replied and kept walking.

"You sure are dirty," he stated following her.

"I know, I'm going to get cleaned up now," she said.

"I saw you talking to Jack," he said.

"So what?" she asked.

"I have a question," he told her.

"What is it?" she asked.

"Look at me," he demanded grabbing her arm. She stopped walking and turned around.

"What?" she asked.

"You kiss Jack to?" he asked glaring at her.

"What?" she asked.

"Have you?" he asked harshly.

"No," she told him. "Not that it matters or is any of your business but no."

"You want to though," he said staring at her.

"James you're the only man I've kissed since I've been on this island," I told him. "And you're the first man I've kissed in two years," she added. "You're the first man I've wanted to kiss in two years."

"Why?"

"I need to go get cleaned up," she told him and walked off.

Sawyer watched her go wondering if Cole was the reason she hadn't kissed a man in two years. Who was Cole and what exactly happened between them.

* * *

After she cleaned up Stasia sat back down on the beach.

"Well you look much better all cleaned up," Jack said as he sat down by her on the beach.

"Hey Jack," she said. "Thanks," she added.

"So what's going on between you and Kate?" Stasia asked.

"Nothing," Jack answered.

"Really?" she asked surprised. "I would have definitely thought there was something going on with you two."

"Why?" Jack asked.

"I don't know, I was just wondering. I mean its not any of my business anyway," Stasia sighed.

"You finish that song?" Jack asked.

"No," she answered.

"Have you tried?" he asked her and she looked over at him.

"Yes," she lied and he looked at her and raised his eyebrows. "No I haven't."

"Why not?"

"What's the point, I'm never going to finish it anyway." she told him.

"Not with that attitude you're not," Jack pointed out.

"I'll try harder," she told him.

"Good," he said and stood up. "I'll see you later."

"Bye Jack," she said and he walked off.

* * *

Sawyer walked over,

"Well you and the Doc seem to be getting close," Sawyer said and he plopped down next to her.

"So." She said. "You actually care?"

"Well no I just…"

"James judging by the way you've been acting since you read that letter you don't want to be around me that much anyway, not the way you did before. So why do you care?"

"You know what I'm like, I'm sure I'm not much different than your dad."

"I wouldn't know, I never knew my father," she told him.

"What?"

"My father ran out on me and my mom a week after I was born and I didn't hear from him until he contacted me to tell me he was dying and to get me to get that letter to you," she told him. "My father walked out on me and ruined my life, left me and my mom with nothing," she told him. "And now even though he's dead he's ruining my life again."

"How?"

"You should know how James, You're probably just like him. You ruin people's lives and leave them to pick the pieces up," she told him and she picked up her bag and stood up and walked away. Sawyer watched her go, thinking about what she said.

* * *

Stasia walked to the Hatch, she was hoping Jack would be on button duty and when she got there Jack was on button duty.

"I was hoping you'd be here," Stasia said and Jack looked up.

"Is everything alright?" he asked.

"Yeah," she said. "You got button duty tonight?"

"Yeah I do," he said.

"You mind if I hang out for a while?" she asked. "If you don't want me to all you have to do is say so."

"Of course I don't care if you stay," he said and she sat down in a chair. "I might try to finish my song," she told him.

"Good," he said.

"This place is strange," she stated.

"Well yeah it is," Jack agreed.

"Did you know we found a place similar to this on the side of the island we crashed on?"

"No I didn't," he said.

"We did, its where we hid out for a while, From them," she told him. "Until we came here and I like it better over here anyway," she went on. "I don't have to be around Ana Lucia every minute."

"I take it you and Ana Lucia don't see eye to eye on things," Jack said.

"No we never did," Stasia said. "I know what she thought of me, she called me a pampered little princess," she added and Jack smiled. "Like she knew me or knew anything about my life. Just because she thought I had it easy, doesn't mean I actually did," she told Jack. "The times I helped out she always said its about time I did something besides stand still and look pretty."

"She was really hard on you?" Jack asked.

"Yeah but its ok," she told Jack and they were quiet.

"When you say hid out from them you mean the Others right?"

"Yeah, they kidnapped all the children, killed some of us," she said. "Compared to what we've been through y'all have had it easy," she told Jack as the beeping started and Jack typed the code and the counter turned back to 108.

"Why are you here Stasia?" Jack asked. "Who are you avoiding?"

"Can't I just want to get to know you better?" she asked.

"Yeah you can," he said.

"If you don't want me here Jack all you have to do is say so and I'll leave," she told him standing up. He grabbed her hand.

"No, you should stay," he said. "It will be dark soon and I don't want you to walk back through the jungle by yourself."

"I can take care of myself, if that's the only reason you want me to stay," Stasia said.

"Just stay," Jack said and she sat down. Stasia opened her bag and pulled out a scrunchie and pulled her hair up in a ponytail. Jack watched her, Stasia looked up and her eyes met his.

"What?" she asked.

"Nothing," Jack said. "Your eyes are really pretty," he added.

"Thanks," she said and pulled out her notebook and opened it to the song she had started over a year ago.

"Is that the song?" Jack asked.

"Yeah, this is it," she said. "I've just got bits and pieces of stuff and I'm no where near finished."

"Can I hear some of what you got?" Jack asked.

"I don't guess there's anything else for us to do," she said. "Remember its not finished, and this is the only part I know will go together," she told him. I want to call it Life Ain't always Beautiful."

"Alright," Jack said and he propped his elbow on the table and rested his head in his hand and looked at her.

"Life ain't always beautiful, You think you're on your way. And it's just a dead end road at the end of the day."

"Its nice," Jack said.

"Thanks, maybe I could get it done if I had my guitar, but I lost it in the crash," she told Jack. "Its pink, Charlie mentioned he saw a pink guitar a few days after the crash."

"A pink guitar," Jack said smiling and standing up. "Hold on a minute." He walked away into another section of the hatch and soon returned and he held a pink guitar in his hands.

"My guitar," she said.

"Yeah, I found it and was storing it at the caves and then I moved it here, I thought maybe someone would claim it but no one ever did," Jack told her.

"Its unbelievable,' she said shocked as Jack handed her the guitar. "Thank you."

"You're welcome," he said and sat back down in his seat and Stasia started to play the guitar.

"Life ain't always beautiful, You think you're on your way. And it's just a dead end road at the end of the day."

"Its nice to hear it with some music with it," Jack said.

"Thanks," she said. "I've been trying to write this song for two years, since I lost Cole and I haven't managed to do it yet. Cole always pointed out my faults and he saw crying as a weakness. He hated for anyone to cry, I never knew why." She told Jack. "I always tried not to cry if Cole was around," She sighed then she started to hum

"And Happiness has it's own way of takin' its sweet time. But the struggle makes you stronger  
And the changes make you wise, Tears will fall sometimes, Life ain't always beautiful," she sang,  
Jack looked at the words she had written.

"There needs to be something before all this and after it, to make it complete," she said.

"What if you began with But the struggle makes you stronger ," Jack suggested and Stasia looked down.

"That could work,' she said. But the struggle makes you stronger, And the changes make you wise, And happiness has it's own way of takin' its sweet time."

"See you can write a song," Jack said.

"This is just part of a song,." She sighed.

"Don't get frustrated, just take your time with the song," Jack said.

"Can I walk around?" she asked and Jack nodded. Stasia stood up and left her notebook on the table.


	9. Why Sawyer?

**A/N: Enjoy the chapter, I hope you like it.**

* * *

Jack took Stasia's notebook and flipped a few pages and saw a song called Stand Still, Look pretty. He read it. Who was this girl and what had she been through. But the big question that ran through his mind was, who was Cole?Stasia returned and sat back down and closed her notebook.

"You're not quitting," he said.

"For today," she said. "I'll work on it later," she added and put the notebook in her bag as the beeping started again and Jack entered the code and it stopped.

"Your voice is really pretty, no wonder everyone likes to hear you sing," Jack said.

"Really?" she asked.

"Yeah when you sang to Aaron everyone just kind of stopped and listened to you sing," he said.

"I didn't realize that," she said and looked away.

"I didn't mean to embarrass you," Jack said and she looked back at him.

"You didn't," she told him and looked at him, he looked really tired. "Have you slept much lately?" she asked.

"Not really," he admitted. "When do I have time to rest?"

"You need to find time," she told him. "Jack I know you're a doctor and you're like looking out for everyone but you're not going to do anyone any good if you're run down." She said and she ran her fingers over his cheek.

"I know," he said and he looked over at her. "What's going on with you and Sawyer?"

"Nothing," she told him.

"You don't have to lie to me," he said.

"Jack I am not lying when I say nothing is going on with me and Sawyer," she told him.

"But you made out with him," Jack pointed out.

"Oh my god you sound like a teenage boy," she said smiling. "But you made out with him," she repeated imitating his voice.

"You did." Jack said.

"Yeah I did but there's nothing going on between us and no I'm not going to tell you why, not yet anyway," she told him.

"Alright," Jack sighed. "I think we should go to bed," Jack told her. "You want to sleep on top or on the bottom?"

"Huh?" she asked confused.

"The bunk beds, you want the top or bottom?"

"Oh, I don't care, but since you're pushing the button maybe you should sleep on the bottom."

"Alright," he said and they both stood up and Stasia walked over to the beds and climbed on the top bed and laid down. The computer beeped and Jack entered the code and then settled in the bottom bed.

"Jack," Stasia said.

"Yeah."

"You have a girlfriend or a wife back home?"

"No," he said. "What about you? You got a boyfriend?"

"No," she answered. "You ever been married?"

"Yes, have you?"

"No," she answered. "Goodnight," she said.

"Good night," Jack replied.

* * *

Stasia got up in the middle of the night to use the bathroom. When she came back the computer was beeping. Jack was still sleeping. Stasia walked over to the computer and saw something with some numbers written on it. She looked over at Jack and then at the counter. Stasia entered the numbers and the beeping stopped. She walked back to the beds. 

"Was that the computer?" Jack asked raising up.

"Yeah, I put the number in, go back to sleep Jack," Stasia said and climbed back into the top bunk.

"Thanks," Jack said. "Who's Cole?" he asked and Stasia sighed.

"I don't think you want to know," she said.

"Yeah I do," he told her.

"Its kind of a long story," she told him.

"Its not like I'm going anywhere," Jack told her.

"Jack, I just, I don't want to talk about Cole right now." She said.

"Alright," he said. "But why Sawyer?"

"What do you mean?"

"I've seen the way you look at him, I saw how you kissed him," Jack said.

"What?" she asked hanging over the side of the bunk bed to look at Jack. "I was walking through the jungle at that time and I saw you and him kissing," Jack said. "You don't kiss someone the way you kissed Sawyer and then say there's nothing going on with you two."

"Jack," Stasia said. "Why didn't you say something? I didn't know you saw us."

"Come down here," Jack said and Stasia sighed and climbed down and stood by Jack's bed.

"What?" she asked.

"Sit down," he said and Stasia sat down on Jack's bed.

"What do you want?" Stasia asked.

"Why Sawyer? Why are you so drawn to him?" he asked sitting up.

"Sawyer's the type of guy I've always dated," she told Jack. "Cole was a lot like Sawyer."

"So you dated Cole?"

"Yeah I dated Cole. Cole could be kind of a jerk sometimes, he lied to me a lot, about everything. I guess I see a lot of Cole in Sawyer. I loved Cole despite the way he acted and the way he treated me," she told Jack. "I've never dated a nice guy," she told him.

"A nice guy?"

"Yeah Cole was not a nice guy, Sawyer's not a nice guy," she told him.

"Who do you consider a nice guy?" Jack asked.

"Well judging from the little I know about all of you. Someone like Hurley or Sayid or you."

"Me," Jack said surprised.

"Are you not a nice guy Jack?" she asked.

"I guess I am," he said. "I'm the type of guy who losses the girl they want to a guy like Sawyer."

"Jack," Stasia said.

"Well I am," he said. "Its happened before. I guess guys like Sawyer are more interesting than me, more attractive than me, They don't give a damn about anyone but their self," Jack said.

"I know," Stasia whispered. "But Jack, you are an attractive man, you're patient and considerate and kind." She said. "I chose Cole over a guy like you, he wasn't a doctor, not nearly as smart either but he was an attractive, nice man who would have treated me better than I deserved to be treated," she told Jack. "And I chose to be with Cole, I loved Cole more than he ever loved me," she told Jack.

"So how long did you date Cole?"

"Two years," she answered.

"What happened?" Jack asked and Stasia stood up and walked away. Jack got up and followed her. "Stasia, what happened between you and Cole?" he asked as the beeping started. Jack and Stasia just stood there looking at each other.

"Are you going to get that?" Stasia asked Jack and he nodded and walked away knowing she wasn't going to tell him anything else anyway.

* * *

The next morning Jack and Stasia walked back to the beach together. Sawyer saw them together. 

"I'll see you later Jack," Stasia said and walked away. When she walked by Sawyer he said something.

"Well, Well, you stay all night with the Doc at the Hatch?" Sawyer asked. She stopped and looked at him.

"What if I did?" she asked.

"You and the Doc are gettin' cozy," Sawyer said.

"So," Stasia said. "I can talk to Jack if I want to, Last time I checked you didn't tell me what to do."

"So how close did you and the doc get last night?" Sawyer asked smirking. "Sleep in the same bed?"

"James, I slept on top and he slept on bottom, " Stasia said.

"Huh?" Sawyer asked. "Are you serious? You didn't sleep with him last night?"

"No James I slept on the top bunk bed and he slept on the bottom bed," she told him offended. "But now I know what kind of girl you think I am," she said and turned and walked away.

"Blue wait," Sawyer said going after her. "Wait," he said catching up with her.

"What?" she asked upset.

"I didn't mean to imply anything," Sawyer said. "I know I come across as a jerk sometimes," he added.

"Sometimes," she said.

"Most of the time," he said. "I didn't mean to upset you."

"You're not mad at me anymore?"

"I don't know," he admitted. "I really don't know right now. You're this guys daughter, but its not your fault," Sawyer sighed.

"No its not," she agreed. "But can you get past who my father is?"

"I don't know," Sawyer answered.

"If you're going to see my father every time you look at me, what's the point," Stasia said.

"I don't know blue, its going to take time for me to figure that out," he told her.

"I'll see you later," Stasia said and walked off.

* * *

Stasia walked to Sun's garden and found her working. 

"Hey Sun," Stasia said and Sun looked up.

"Hello," Sun replied. "Are you here to help?"

"Yeah," Stasia said.

"Well come on then," Sun said and Stasia dropped her bag and joined Sun and they started to work.

"So what's the problem?" Sun asked after a few minutes.

"Huh?" she asked confused.

"What's going on with you? Is there something you want to talk about?"

"What do you know about Sawyer?" she asked.

"Sawyer," Sun said. "He's caused trouble since we crashed here. Hoarding supplies, giving everyone stupid nicknames, fighting with everyone, just doing stuff that makes everyone angry." Sun said.

"Uh-huh," Stasia said.

"But then there are times, like when he reads to Claire's baby, to keep him quiet and you think that it couldn't possibly be the same man, you know."

"Yeah I know what you mean," Stasia sighed. "You see a glimpse of a good person occasionally," She added as she wiped her forehead with her hand.

"Exactly," Sun said. "Then he does something to make you hate him again, just when you begin to like him," Sun said and they continued to work.

"And Jack?" Stasia asked.

"Jack's a good man and a good doctor," Sun said. "He helps everyone no matter what they've done."

"Yeah I get that," Stasia sighed. "I just don't get how he can be so patient with everyone. If I were Jack I would have probably snapped weeks ago," She told Sun.

After a few more hours of working with Sun in the garden Stasia went to clean up and get some lunch. She sat down on the beach and ate. A few minutes later Jack sat down beside her, he was eating to.

"Hey," he said and she looked over at him.

"Hey Jack," she said and took a drink of water.

"I enjoyed talking to you last night," Jack said. "Thanks for coming by."

"Well Jack you helped me with my song, I may actually finish it now," she told him.

"I didn't help that much, I just rearranged your words, but they were all your words," Jack told her.

"Well thanks anyway," she said.


	10. Life Ain't Always Beautiful

**A/N: Enjoy the chapter, I hope you like it. Please review. Ths song used in this chapter is Life Ain't Always Beautiful by Gary Allen.**

Rating: M

Disclaimer: I don't own Lost or anything you might recognize. Stasia is my character.

Summary: Stasia was in the tail section of the plane when it crashed. She was going to deliver a letter to a man named James Ford. When the plane crashes she's sure she'll never find him until one day she finds him in the last person she expected.

* * *

A few hours later Stasia thought she might go see if Sun wanted some more help. She was walking to Sun's garden when someone grabbed her and next thing she knew she was being kissed. Stasia sighed and kissed him back, she knew it was Sawyer by the way he was kissing her. When he pulled away, she looked up at him.

"James, what was that for?" she asked.

"I don't know," he said. "I saw you walking by and I was wondering where you were going and I just thought I want to kiss her again, so I did," he said.

"That's it?" she asked. "You think you just grab me and kiss me when ever you want?" she asked getting upset.

"Blue…" Sawyer said.

"Lately you haven't even been able to look at me without getting mad," she told him. "You can't just kiss me one minute and hate me the next, I won't do that with anyone," she told him. "_Not again."_ She added to herself.

"I don't hate you," Sawyer said quietly. "I don't know exactly how I feel about you right now," he told her.

"James, you have to decide whether or not you're going to let my father come between us being friends…"

"Or more," Sawyer said.

"Or more," Stasia told him. "I'm not going back and forth with you and you will not kiss me again until you make up your mind," she said and walked off.

Stasia didn't see Sawyer the rest of the day and as she fell asleep she wondered if she had made him mad or if he would ever talk to her again.

* * *

FLASHBACK

_Stasia was in the apartment she shared with her boyfriend Cole. This apartment was better than the house she lived in growing up. She had an actual bed to sleep in and that was a step up from a duct taped mattress. She loved Cole more than anything in the world, she just wondered if he loved her. The door opened and Cole walked in._

"_Hey," she said smiling as she stood up. Cole walked over to her and kissed her lightly on the lips. She looked up into his dark brown eyes and smiled. "You have a good day?"_

"_Pretty good, I'm glad to be home," he told her. Cole sat down on the couch and Stasia sat beside him._

"_I was thinking," Cole began. "We should get out of here for a while, take a vacation."_

"_Where?" she asked._

"_Anywhere," he told her. "But how does the Bahamas sound, I've already talked to someone about going in a few weeks. "_

"_It sounds like paradise," she said. "But I'm getting ready to record my new album and I just can't take off right now,"_

"_You don't want to go?" Cole asked._

"_I didn't say that, I'd love to go away with you," she told him "But I just can't right now, does what I want not matter." _

"_Anastasia," he said as the phone rang. "hello," he answered and he turned to Stasia. "Its for you."_

"_Hello," she said. "Yes sir, Are you sure?" she asked. "I'll be right down." She said and handed the phone to Cole, he hung up the phone._

"_What is it?" he asked._

"_It was a police officer, they said they found my mom and took her to the hospital," Stasia said. "He said she didn't make it, She's dead," She told Cole. "They want me to go and identify her body to make sure its her." she said as tears ran down her cheeks._

"_Anastasia," Cole said. "Pull yourself together before you go," he said._

"_You're not going to go with me?" she asked._

"_No, you can go by yourself." He said. "Now you have a reason not to go on our trip."_

* * *

The next night Stasia had button duty. Maybe she could finish her song. She settled down in the hatch and picked up her guitar and started to play. It was to quiet when you were all by yourself. She started to sing some of her song.

"I'm never going to get this," she said to herself as the beeping started and she put the code in and pushed the button and the counter started all over. She played her guitar again and sang. "Life ain't always beautiful, Sometimes it's just plain hard, Life can knock you down, it can break your heart. Life ain't always beautiful, You think you're on your way, And it's just a dead end road at the end of the day." she sang the words and wrote some words down. "I think I'm finished. After two years I think I'm finished with it," she said to herself as someone walked into the hatch.

"Are you talking to yourself now?"

"Hey Jack," Stasia said as he sat down across from her.

"So how's it going?"

"Its good, its quiet," she said. "I think I finished my song," she said smiling.

"I'd like to hear it," he said.

"Ok," she said. "But remember I just finished it," she added.

"Alright," Jack said and Stasia played her guitar and then started to sing.

"Life ain't always beautiful, Sometimes it's just plain hard, Life can knock you down, it can break your heart. Life ain't always beautiful, You think you're on your way, And it's just a dead end road at the end of the day. But the struggle makes you stronger, And the changes make you wise  
And happiness has it's own way of takin' it sweet time. No, life ain't always beautiful, Tears will fall sometimes, Life ain't always beautiful, But it's a beautiful ride." She sang, Jack couldn't take his eyes off of her as she sang. He propped his elbow on the table and rested his chin in his hand and stared at her. "Life ain't always beautiful, Some days I miss your smile, I get tired of walkin' all these lonely miles, And I wish for just one minute, I could see your pretty face, Guess I can dream, but life don't work that way. But the struggles makes me stronger And the changes make me wise, And happiness has it's own way of takin' its sweet time, No, life ain't always beautiful, But I know I'll be fine, Hey, life ain't always beautiful, But its a beautiful ride. What a beautiful ride." She sang.

"Its good," Jack said.

"Thanks, but you can tell me if it sucks," she said.

"It doesn't suck," Jack told her and they were quiet.

"So," Jack said. "You and Sawyer."

"Nothing Jack and there won't be anything until he decides what he wants," she said.

"What happened?" Jack asked curiously. "I mean when I saw you two together, I was sure there would be something between you two."

"Well Sawyer has to get past the fact that he hates my father before anything can happen between us,." Stasia told him.

"He hates your father?" Jack asked.

"It was my father that ruined his life when he was a kid," Stasia asked. "Don't ask because I'm sure he doesn't want you to know."

"Alright," Jack said. "But what your father did isn't your fault."

"I know that and he knows that but if every time he looks at me he sees how much he hates my father and how my father ruined his life, there's never going to be anything between us."

"That's so true," Jack agreed.

"I didn't really know my father," she told him as the computer beeped and she entered the code. "Anyway he ran out and me and my mom a week after I was born and then twenty something years later he saw me on TV and called me, he wanted to see me because he was dying."

"I'm sorry," Jack said.

"Well he didn't call me because he wanted to see me, he wanted me to give a letter to Sawyer for him and I don't know what's in it and I really don't care," Stasia said. "But even in death my father is ruining my life. He took everything when he ran out. Left me and my mom with nothing but bills and a lot of debt. We never even knew where he was," Stasia sighed. "But enough about all of that, tell me about you. You always want to be a doctor?"

"My dad was a doctor," Jack told her. "I guess I was always heading that way and I like being a doctor," he said.

"Good, I think everyone should love their job, even though most don't."

"Did you love your job?" Jack asked her.

"Yeah I did, I mean I was doing something some people only dream about and my job required me to travel around the world. I got to see places some people dreamed about."

"Did you say your father called you twenty something years after he ran out on you and your mom?"

"Yeah I did."

"How old are you? I thought you were like 17 or 18 or something close to that."

"Jack, I'm 27," she told him.

"You don't look it," he said.

"Thanks," she said smiling.

"So how old were you when you started singing?" Jack asked her.

"I was about six," she said. "When I was a teenager I used to sing into my hairbrush along with the radio ," she added. "I was in some school plays in high school, I was Sandy in our school's production of Grease, I never went to college. I didn't want to have something to fall back on if this didn't work. I went out and tried to accomplish my dream. And either I was going to accomplish it or fall on my face."

"And you did accomplish your dream?," Jack said.

"Well yes and no," she told him. "I was on my way to accomplishing my dream but I'm here instead."

"So Sun said you were helping her in her garden again today," Jack said.

"Yeah I was, I like helping her," she told him. "I like Sun."

"She likes you to," Jack told her.

"What did she tell you?" Stasia asked.

"Just that you talked a little. She didn't tell what you talked about."

"I could say girl stuff, but that wouldn't bother you as much because you're a doctor."

"You're right not as much," Jack agreed.

"Makes every other guy run though." Stasia told him.

"I guess so," Jack said.

"We talked about Sawyer," she told him running her fingers through her hair.

"Oh," Jack said, he sounded disappointed.

"I made a comment about you though."

"What?" Jack asked curiously.

"I told Sun that I don't get how you're so patient with everyone, like extremely patient," She told him. "I would have snapped a long time ago," she added. "I don't have patients with some people."

"But you do with Sawyer," Jack pointed out. "I don't get that," he added.

"Well that's not entirely true, but I am used to guys like Sawyer."

"Oh."

"But I haven't talked to Sawyer since yesterday afternoon."

"Why?"

"Well I told him I won't go back and forth with him. That he couldn't kiss me one minute and hate me the next. That he had to make up his mind and that he couldn't kiss me again until he made up his mind."

"I bet he didn't like that," Jack said a smile on his face.

"I don't know, probably not," she said. "But enough about Sawyer."

"Who's Cole?" he asked.

"That's a long difficult story," she said.

"You don't have to tell me if you don't want to." He told her and she sighed and looked away.

"Cole and I dated for like two years, I loved him more than he ever loved me," she said and turned to look at him. "What more do you need to know."

"What you're not telling me," Jack said. "What happened between you two?"

"I don't want to talk about that yet Jack," she told him and wiped a tear away.

"I'm sorry to upset you, but whatever it is you haven't talked about it," he said. "and you're obviously still upset about it," he added softly and she nodded.

"I've never talked about it and I don't want to," she said and covered her face with her hands.

"Stasia," Jack said getting up and walking over to her. He put his hands over hers and moved them off her face. She looked up at him and he pulled her up and wrapped his arms around her and she rested her head on his chest. Stasia pulled away.

"I'm sorry," she said wiping her face with her hand.

"Its ok, its my fault really," Jack said as the computer beeped.

"I should get that," Stasia said and turned away and put the code in and then looked up and the countdown clock and watched it flip back to 108.

"So you staying?" Stasia asked as she sat down.

"Sure," Jack answered and walked back and sat down in his chair. They were both quiet for a while.

"I'm glad you finally finished your song."

"Thanks," she said smiling slightly.

"Why do you want to be with a guy like Sawyer?" Jack asked curiously.

"I really don't know," she answered. "I've heard and seen what kind of guy Sawyer is and I've seen the kind of guy that he can be if he would let himself," she said and sighed heavily. "Its just there's a good guy in there somewhere, he just doesn't want anyone to see it."

"Why do you think that is?" Jack asked.

"He thinks it makes him vulnerable or weak or something stupid like that," she told Jack. "Cole was like that. He could have been a better guy but he just didn't want to, he chose to be a jerk."

"And you dated this jerk for two years?"

"Yes I did," Stasia said. "And why are you so interested?" she asked curiously.

"I don't know, I just am," Jack answered.

"Why don't you and Sawyer get along?" she asked.

"Sawyer doesn't get along with anyone, much," Jack told her.

"But he seems to hate you more than most, well you and Sayid," she said.

"He accused Sayid of being the reason the plane crashed," Jack told her.

"Are you serious?" Stasia asked shocked, her eyes widened.

"I wish I wasn't," he told her. "Anyway they got in a big fight about a few days after we crashed," he sighed and propped his elbows on the table.

"They got in a fight," she repeated.

"Yep," Jack said.

_

* * *

_

_FLASHBACK_

_Stasia returned home from the hospital. Cole was watching that TV show E.R. and eating pizza. He looked over at her as she walked in. Her eyes were red and puffy from crying._

"_So?" he asked._

"_It was my mom," she told him. "So now I have to plan a funeral and make some calls." She added and sighed. Cole looked over at Stasia. "My moms gone, all I have is you now."_

"_What about your dad?"_

"_I don't know where he is, he obviously doesn't want anything to do with me. He's the one that left." She told him fighting back tears._

"_So what happened?"_

"_Well you know she drank a lot," Stasia said._

"_Yeah I know," Cole said._

"_Well it seems she was drinking and she took some pills for something, I don't know what and she overdosed and they couldn't save her."_

"_Well I guess that means the trips definitely off then," Cole said. _

* * *

Stasia looked around the Hatch, Jack had walked outside for a few minutes and she was alone again. She picked up her guitar and started to play it. She hummed a little. She was really glad Jack was staying with her tonight because she wasn't so sure she wanted to stay by herself. Jack was nice, attractive, and she really liked him.

"It seems as thought I've always been, somebody outside looking in," she sang softly as Jack walked in.

"Another song?" he asked.

"I don't know if it is or not," she sighed as he sat down across from her.

"So you grew up with your mom?" Jack asked.

"Yeah I did, she did the best she could with what she had," Stasia sighed. "She died a few months before my father," she added. "Overdosed."

"Oh wow, I'm sorry," Jack said.

"I got a call from a police officer that brought her to the hospital, one of the neighbors called because they found her body and called an ambulance, then I got a call to go tell them it was her."

"Stasia," Jack said softly.

"Cole didn't even care, I had to go to the hospital by myself because he wouldn't go with me and when I got back he was watching reruns that TV show ER and eating Pizza. He could have cared less." she said. "All he cared about was that this trip he had planned was going to be put off."

"Why did you stay with him then?"

"I don't know," she answered and played her guitar again. She stopped because the computer beeped, she entered the code and the timer flipped back to 108.


	11. Dreams

**A/N: Enjoy the chapter, I hope you like it. Please review.**

Rating: M

Disclaimer: I don't own Lost or anything you might recognize. Stasia is my character.

Summary: Stasia was in the tail section of the plane when it crashed. She was going to deliver a letter to a man named James Ford. When the plane crashes she's sure she'll never find him until one day she finds him in the last person she expected.

* * *

Stasia had fallen asleep in the bottom bunk bed and she was tossing and turning in her sleep.

"_Cole what are you doing?" she asked panicked, he had a gun in his hand. "What's going on."_

"_I lost my job, You're never here anymore you're always off recording or interviewing or doing a photo shoot," he told her. "You don't love me anymore and everything is falling apart._

"_Cole don't do something stupid," she said as he pointed the gun at her. She was shaking all over. "Cole." She said._

Jack heard her talking in her sleep.

"Stasia," he said sitting up and looking down at her from the top bunk. "Stasia," he said again.

The next thing she knew she heard a gunshot.

"NO!" Stasia yelled flying up from her bed.

"No, no, no," she said shaking and rubbing her hands together nervously. Jack jumped down from the top bed.

"Stasia," he said walking over to her. "Calm down," he said calmly and he gently grabbed her arms. She looked up at Jack, tears were running down her cheeks. She was shaking all over. "Stasia," he said softly and he tucked her hair behind her ears. "Breathe," he said. "In and out," he told her and she did. "Are you ok?" he asked concerned and she nodded. Jack wiped the tears off her cheeks with his thumbs and rested his forehead against hers. "You sure?" he asked concerned and she shook her head and started to cry all over again. She laid her head on Jack's chest and he put his arms around her.

"Its just a dream," Jack told her. "And its over now, you're ok," he said trying to calm her.

After Stasia calmed down she sat down in front of the computer instead of going back to bed.

"You should try and get some rest," Jack said and she looked over at him.

"So should you," she told him and Jack nodded.

"True," he agreed and then sat down in the other chair across from her. "So I guess we're staying up the rest of the night."

"I don't know what we're doing, but I'm not going back to bed right now."

"Alright," he said.

"But you can go get some sleep, don't feel like you have to stay up for me."

"If I didn't want to stay up, I wouldn't ok," Jack said and she nodded.

* * *

The next morning Jack and Stasia walked back to the beach. When they got back to the beach they went their separate ways.

"Hey Stasia," someone said and she turned around. It was Libby.

"Morning Libby," she replied wiping her eyes.

"Wow, you look tired."

"Didn't sleep much last night," she told her. "Nightmares."

"Are you ok?"

"Oh I'm fine," she said yawning. "I'm sorry," she said. "I think I'm going to try and take a nap."

"Alright, I'll see you later."

"Bye Libby," she replied and walked off to the tent she had set up. She went inside and put her bag and guitar down then she laid down and it didn't take her long to fall asleep.

* * *

When Stasia woke up she was really hungry, so she went to find something to eat. As she was walking back to her tent with her food she ran into Sawyer.

"Hey Blue," he said and she stopped walking and looked at him.

"James," she replied and continued walking, he followed her.

"So where were you last night?"

"Button duty," she answered as he fell in step beside her.

They ended up at his tent and they sat down.

"You look really tired," he said. "Did you get any sleep?" Sawyer asked.

"No, I had a nightmare, so I stayed up the rest of the night, I just took a nap though."

"Good," he said and Stasia took a bite of some fruit.

"So are you talking to me now?" she asked. "I thought I made you mad the other day."

"Well yeah you made me a little mad but that's because I realized you were right," he said and she smiled. "Stop smiling," he said. "but no I'm not so mad anymore."

"Good," she said. "And I'm glad you realized I was right," she told him and stood up.

"You leaving?" he asked.

"No," she replied. "You want me to leave?"

"No," he answered.

"Good," she said as Hurley walked over.

"Hey Stasia," he said and her and Sawyer looked over.

"Hey Hurley," she said smiling taking a step forward. Sawyer stood behind her.

"When you were on the other side of the island, Did you get to know Libby pretty well?"

"Kind of," she answered smiling as Sawyer laid his forehead against the back of her head and whispered something about a crush in her ear. "Stop," she said elbowing Sawyer in the stomach.

"Damn," he said.

"So what is she like?" he asked.

"Hold my food," she said to Sawyer and he did. She turned to walk away. She turned back around. "Don't eat it,"

"Ok," he said.

"Libby is really sweet Hurley and you should talk to her."

"You think so?"

"She's not going to bite your head off," she told him. "She's really very sweet."

"You think she'd actually like me?" Hurley asked unsure.

"I don't see why not," Stasia told him.

"Because girls like Libby, like you, don't like guys like me," Hurley said.

"I think we'd all be a lot happier if we did," Stasia told him. "Just go talk to her," Stasia told him and she turned to walk away.

"You really think I should."

"Yeah I do," she told him and he walked away.

"Can I have my food?" she asked Sawyer.

"Maybe," he said.

"James," she said and he held it up where she couldn't reach it. She reached for it but couldn't even get close to it.

"Say please."

"No, its mine, I shouldn't have to say please," she told him reaching for it. "James," she whined.

"Whining already?" he said shaking his head. "You really think Libby will like him?"

"Yeah I do," she answered as Sawyer ran his hand down her side and then tickled her.

"Stop," she said laughing. "I want my food," she told him and he looked at her.

"You want your food, what?"

"I want my food now," she demanded and Sawyer smiled and looked down at her. "Please," she whispered.

"Alright," he said and handed it to her.

"Thank you," she said and started to take a bite. "You going to let go of me?"

"No," he answered and tickled her sides again

"Stop," she said laughing and she fell into him and he wrapped his arms around her.

"Stasia," someone said and she looked over.

"Jack," she said surprised to see him. "Let go of me," she said pushing Sawyer's hands off of her. Sawyer looked at her but said nothing. "Hey Jack," she said nervously. "Is everything alright?"

"That's what I was coming over to see, if you were ok, but you look fine to me," he said and turned and walked away.

"Jack," she called out. "Damn it," she said.

"What was that all about?" Sawyer asked. "Why wouldn't you be ok?"

"I had a nightmare last night," she told him.

"I thought you had button duty last night?" he asked.

"I did," she told him.

"Oh let me guess, did Doc happen to stay with you last night?"

"Yeah," she answered tucking her hair behind her ears.

"Why?"

"I didn't invite him, he showed up and I'm glad someone was there with me last night."

"Stasia," Sawyer said. "Is there something going on with you and Jack I should know about?"

"No, no there isn't," she answered and walked away.

* * *

Stasia walked back to her tent and sat outside it. She took her notebook out of her bag and opened it. Then she picked up her guitar and started to play.

"You look at me and see the girl, who lives inside the golden world. But don't believe that's all there is to see, you'll never know the real me."

"Sounds good," someone said and she looked up.

"Hey Charlie," she said.

"How's the song coming?"

"Slowly," she answered.

"What I heard so far sounds good," he told her as he sat down beside her.

"Thanks," she said putting her guitar down. "There's not much to do around here, so I've been trying to write some songs," she told him.

"Kind of takes your mind off stuff," he said.

"Yeah," she said nodding. "Its kind of good to take your mind off things sometimes."

"Yeah I know what you mean," Charlie told her. Stasia pulled her hair up. "You seen Jack?"

"No, not recently," he told her.

"Alright," Stasia sighed.

* * *

Stasia walked into the hatch, she saw Jack there.

"_Hey Jack," she said throwing her bag down._

"_Hey," he replied._

"_You have button duty tonight?" she asked._

"_Yeah."_

"_Are you alone?" she asked._

"_Yeah I'm alone," he sighed._

"_Good," Stasia said and walked over to where Jack was sitting and stood between him and the computer. She laid her hands on his shoulders._

"_What are you doing?"_

"_Don't talk, I might loose my nerve," she told him and she leaned forward and kissed him. Jack was taken by surprise at first but then kissed her back. Jack stood up and pulled Stasia closer to him and continued to kiss her. The computer beeped._

"_Damn it," Jack groaned as he pulled away._

"_I got it," she said and turned around, Jack ran his hands down her sides and grabbed her hips. she entered the code, then turned back to Jack._

"_Sit down," she said pushing him into the chair. Stasia straddled his lap and slid her arms around his neck. Jack rested his hands on her waist. He ran one hand up her body to her head and pulled the scrunchie out of her hair and her hair tumbled down around her shoulders. Jack ran his fingers through her hair and Stasia leaned forward and they kissed again. Jack tangled his fingers in her hair to hold her to him. Stasia ran her hands over his arms and Jack untangled his fingers from her hair and ran his hands down her body and pulled her shirt off._

Stasia sat up. She looked around. She was in her tent all alone, she wiped her eyes. Why was she dreaming about Jack like that? Yeah she liked Jack, but did she like Jack in the way she just dreamed about. She wondered if he was as good a kisser in real life as he was in her dream. Stasia laid back down and tried to go back to sleep.


	12. You're not Everyone Else

**A/N: Enjoy the chapter, I hope you like it. Please review. The song in this chapter is Looking In by Mariah Carey.**

Rating: M

Disclaimer: I don't own Lost or anything you might recognize. Stasia is my character.

Summary: Stasia was in the tail section of the plane when it crashed. She was going to deliver a letter to a man named James Ford. When the plane crashes she's sure she'll never find him until one day she finds him in the last person she expected.

* * *

FLASHBACK

Stasia was in her apartment with Cole. He had lost his job about two weeks ago and he had been really upset about it and he was constantly yelling at her. She had started to think about her relationship with Cole and thought about trying to end it and move out on her own. She had thought about it before he lost his job. Cole walked in and sat down by her. 

"So how did it go?" she asked. 

"Nothing," he told her. 

"I'm sorry, but you'll find something soon." 

"I want to ask you a question," Cole said and turned to her. 

"Alright," she said. 

"I've been thinking a lot and you know that even though I act like a jerk sometimes that it doesn't mean I don't care about you or love you." 

"Yeah I know," she said quietly. 

"I just, um…" he said pulling a box out of his pocket. "Will you marry me?" 

"What," she said shocked. 

"Do I really need to say it again?" 

"No I heard you," she said. I can't marry him, I cannot spend the rest of my life with him, she thought to herself. 

"Will you then." 

"Cole I love you but I can't marry you. 

"Is this about your career?" he asked getting upset. 

"No Cole it has nothing to do with that, it has to do with me and you," she told him. "I can't marry you Cole, I'm sorry." She said and Cole stood up and walked out. When he returned he had a gun. 

"Cole what are you doing?" she asked panicked, he had a gun in his hand. "What's going on." 

"_I lost my job, You're never here anymore you're always off recording or interviewing or doing a photo shoot. You've probably met someone else and you're off screwing him when you're not here._

"_Cole," she said. "That's not true."_

"_You don't love me anymore and everything is falling apart._

"_Cole don't do something stupid," she said as he pointed the gun at her. She was shaking all over. "Cole." She said walking towards him she was standing in front of him.._

"_Its over," he said and he turned the gun on himself and pointed at his head and pulled the trigger. Stasia screamed as he fell and blood splattered all over the place and on her to._

* * *

Stasia picked her guitar up and started to play.

"You look at me and see the girl, who lives inside the golden world. But don't believe that's all there is to see, you'll never know the real me. She smiles through a thousand tears and harbors adolescent fears, She dreams of all that she can never be," she hummed a little. "And hides herself inside of me," Jack sat down by her and she stopped playing. She looked over at him and saw a flash from her dream of him kissing her.

"You want something?" she asked him. "I thought you might be mad at me the way you acted earlier"

"What do I have to be mad about?" he asked. "If you like Sawyer there's nothing I can do to change that."

"Jack there isn't anything between me and Sawyer. I haven't kissed him since…Well I can't remember when and the last thing any of need is a relationship right now."

"I guess I agree with that." he said and stood up and walked away.

Stasia sighed heavily and played her guitar again, its good to take your mind off your problems.

"You look at me and see the girl, who lives inside the golden world. But don't believe that's all there is to see, you'll never know the real me. She smiles through a thousand tears and harbors adolescent fears, She dreams of all that she can never be, She wades in insecurity, And hides herself inside of me," she continued to play hoping the words would come to her. But they wouldn't and she was getting frustrated with herself. She was also getting frustrated with her feelings for Jack and Sawyer. On the one hand Sawyer was incredibly sexy but on the other hand, Jack's not exactly ugly. On the other hand Sawyer's never going to change, he'll always be sort of a jerk about things and only think about himself, a lot like Cole. But on the other hand Jack was the kind of guy she'd never had, the kind of guy she desperately wanted, the kind of guy she always turned down to be with a guy like Sawyer. But then on the other hand.

"I don't have that many hands," Stasia said to herself.

Stasia walked around the beach for a while, it was beginning to get dark. She saw Sayid sitting off by himself, she could have sworn he had button duty. She walked over to him.

"Hey I thought you had button duty tonight," Stasia said.

"I did, Jack wanted to switch, so I have button duty next week instead."

"Does he ever rest?" Stasia asked.

"It doesn't seem like it," Sayid said. But I'm sure he does."

"Yeah I guess so," she sighed and they were quiet. "I'm sorry about Shannon."

"It wasn't your fault."

"I know but I know what its like to lose someone you love," she told him. "I'll see you later," she said and he nodded and she turned to walk away.

Stasia made her way to the hatch, it was hard to see in the dark. She tripped over a rock and fell down, she managed to scrape her arm.

"Damn it," she said and stood up and continued to the hatch. She walked inside.

"Jack," she called out, she saw him in the kitchen. He looked up.

"What are you doing walking through the jungle at night?" he asked, he sounded mad and Stasia took a step back.

"I'm sorry," she said quiely.

"Come over here," Jack sighed and she did.

"Look I won't stay long," she said.

"Your arm's bleeding," Jack said. "Sit down." He told her pointing to a chair and she did. Jack moved the other chair by her and sat down. "Let me see your arm."

"Its just a scratch, Jack," she told him but held her arm out anyway. His touch was so gentle as he looked at her arm and as he cleaned it up. "I told you it was just a scratch," she said when he finished.

"You need something?" he asked.

"No, not really," she said.

"What do you see in Sawyer?" Jack asked.

"I don't know Jack, I'm just really attracted to him I guess."

"He reminds you of your last boyfriend though?" Jack asked.

"Cole, yeah. He reminds me of Cole, not that he looks like Cole because he doesn't, not really." she said, "I haven't wanted to be with another guy at all since things ended with Cole and its been two years since things ended with Cole."

"I thought you dated Cole two years?" Jack asked confused.

"I did, but its also been two years since I've dated another guy, wanted another guy. Cole and I have been apart for two years and it was kind of traumatic. I didn't even want to look at another guy."

"But now you do?" he asked. "And the guy is Sawyer?"

"I don't know if its Sawyer," she said and stood up and walked away. Jack followed her.

"Why don't you just tell me what happened with you and Cole," Jack said stopping to stand behind her.

"I hate to even think about," she said. "But I do all the time."

"Did Cole have anything to do with your nightmare the other night?"

"Yeah," she answered.

"Stasia," he said gently grabbing her arm, she turned to look at him. "Just talk to me, tell me what happened." He said as the computer beeped. Jack and Stasia stood there staring at each other.

"You going to get that?" she asked quietly.

"I'll be right back and we'll finish this conversation," he said and walked away. He returned a few seconds later. "Stasia," he said and she turned around. "So your nightmare was about Cole?"

"Yeah it was," she sighed.

"Do you want to talk about it?" he asked.

"Yeah," she said shaking her head.

"With me?" he asked.

"Yeah," she said and she looked at him. She took a deep breath and began. "Well as you know Cole and I dated for two years. We moved in together after a few months," she told Jack. "Anyway my singing career was starting to take off before I met him and when we were together I was gone a lot," she explained. "Cole lost his job towards the end of our relationship and he hadn't been able to find anything and it had been a few weeks," she went on as she walked across the room. "He was frustrated and he was constantly yelling at me. I'd considered moving out and ending my relationship with Cole, I thought about before he lost his job," she said sitting down in a chair. Jack sat in the chair across from her. "The day our relationship ended he asked me to marry him."

"Really?" Jack asked shocked. "You told me you had never been married."

"I haven't," she told him running her fingers through her hair. "When he asked me to marry him I was shocked but I realized then that I definitely couldn't spend the rest of my life with him. I told him I couldn't marry him. That I loved him but I couldn't marry him."

"How did he take it?"

"He accused it of being about my career and I told him it wasn't." she said. "Anyway he walked out of the room and he returned with a gun."

"A gun, did he try to shoot you?" Jack asked.

"Well I thought he might, but I remember what he said," she told him. "He said that I was never around anymore I was always off working on my album. He accused me of sleeping with other guys and I wasn't," she told Jack as she wiped a tear that ran down her cheek. "He accused me of not loving him anymore." She said looking up at Jack. "I always loved him," she said and she covered her face with her hands. Jack covered her hands with his and moved them. "He pointed the gun at me and said 'it's over'" she told Jack "and then he pointed the gun at himself and he shot himself, I couldn't do anything but scream as blood splattered everywhere," she said as the tears ran down her cheeks. "He shot himself, Cole shot himself and its my fault," she told him breaking down and sobbing.

"Stasia," Jack said and he got up and walked the few steps over to her. He knelt down in front of her. "Its not your fault. You couldn't have known what he was going to do, He could have shot you instead. You can't control what other people do," Jack told her. Stasia hastily wiped her eyes and stood up.

"I should go," she said picking her bag up and walking a few steps away. Jack followed her.

"Satsia," he said grabbing her arm. "No," he told her and she looked at him, he took the bag from her hand and dropped it to the floor, he pulled her to him and wrapped his arms around her and she laid her head on his chest. "It's ok," he whispered as he ran his fingers through her hair.

"I'm sorry Jack," she said pulling away. Jack kept his arms around her.

"You have nothing to be sorry about," he told her as he tucked her hair behind her ears.

"Thank you," she said and laid her head against his chest. Jack wrapped his arms around her again. Stasia liked how safe she felt when Jack held her or just when she was around him.

"I should probably go before it gets to late," Stasia said.

"No Stasia, stay here tonight. Its dangerous to walk through the jungle at night by yourself."

"You worried about me Jack?" she asked smiling a little.

"I might be."

"That's sweet, but I'll be fine," she told him.

"Stasia just stay, don't go through the jungle at night, something could happen."

"Look Jack I thought you might want to be by yourself for a while. I would if I were you," she said. "I figured that's why you switched with Sayid, to get away from everyone else."

"Well it is," Jack said.

"Alright," she said and she picked up her bag to leave.

"Stasia," he said grabbing her arm. She turned to look at him and their eyes met, "You're not everyone else."

"That's a good thing right?" she asked.

"Yeah," he said and she dropped her bag.

They sat together in silence for a little while.

"Jack," she said. "You take care of everyone on this island, have you ever thought about letting someone take care of you for a little while?" she asked. Jack sat down in the chair in front of the computer.

"Who's going to take care of me?" he asked. Stasia walked over to him and sat in his lap. He rested his hands on her waist.

"I am," she said.

"You," Jack said.

"Yeah me," she said getting up. "One of the few things I can do right is a massage," she said. "You need to relax a little and a massage can help. Cole loved them," she said. "Of course the massage always led to other things with him but this would just be a friend to friend massage," she said. "So want a massage?" Jack looked at her.

"You're serious?" he asked.

"Yeah," she said.

"Sure, I go for a massage," he said.

"Alright," she said. "You can leave your shirt on since its really thin, but lay on the bed on your stomach," she told him.

"Ok," he said and he got up and walked over to the bed and stretched out on his stomach. He folded his hands so his head was resting on them. Stasia walked over and sat beside him.

"Ok," she said and laid her hands on Jack's shoulders and started the massage, rubbing his shoulders. Then she moved her hands down his back.

"That feels really good," Jack sighed, Stasia smiled.

"You need to relax a little, you're all tense," Stasia told him.

"I'll remember that," he said. "But I don't get to relax."

"You should," she told him as she continued to massage his back.

"When I have button duty, I get to get away from everyone and just take a breath and kind of relax," he told her.

"And I ruined that for you last time and tonight," she said quietly as she moved back to his shoulders.

"No you didn't," he said. "I told you, you're not everyone else," he added. "Besides you're making up for it now." He said. "And I do actually like you."

"And you don't like everyone else?" she asked.

"Well not everyone," he admitted.

"Like Sawyer?" she asked.

"If you were me, would you like Sawyer?" he asked.

"I guess not," she said. "Dr. Quinn," she added chuckling slightly.

"You heard him call me that," Jack said.

"Yeah I did, I just didn't think you'd actually let it bother you," she said running her hands down his back,

"Do you let it bother you?" he asked. "Blue."

"No," she said. "Blue's not so bad."

"Guess not," he said.

"I've never had anyone like my eyes, people have only wanted to change them," she said.

"Like who?" he asked sitting up on the bed.

"My manager, my record label, my mom."

"Your mom?" Jack asked shocked.

"Yeah," she said.

"I'm glad you didn't change them, I like them," Jack said.

"Thanks," she said.


	13. Surgeons are sexy

A/N: Enjoy the chapter, I hope you like it. Please review. The song in this chapter is Looking In by Mariah Carey.

Rating: M

Disclaimer: I don't own Lost or anything you might recognize. Stasia is my character.

Summary: Stasia was in the tail section of the plane when it crashed. She was going to deliver a letter to a man named James Ford. When the plane crashes she's sure she'll never find him until one day she finds him in the last person she expected

* * *

"So you were a surgeon?" Stasia asked Jack as she sat down in a chair by the computer. 

"Yeah," he answered. "Why?"

"You'll laugh at me," she said.

"No I won't," Jack told her.

"You don't know that," she pointed out.

"Come on, why did you ask that?" he asked.

"No reason," she said smiling.

"Yeah there is," Jack told her. "You know you want to tell me."

"Fine, I've always thought that surgeons were sexy," she told him and stood up and walked across the room. Jack was shocked he didn't expect that. He followed her.

"Surgeons are sexy," Jack repeated. "All surgeons?"

"Well yeah, there's something sexy about being good with your hands."

"Surgeons are sexy," Jack said.

"Yeah surgeons," she said. "And firemen."

"Firemen?"

"Yeah and I have no clue what it is. A lot of girls I know feel the same way. There's be this guy you'd talk to and then you might find out he's a fireman," she said. "And then you'd be all like I want some of that," she said and Jack laughed.

"See, I knew you'd end up laughing at me."

"I'm not laughing at you," he said.

"Whatever," she said looking away. "Anyway, in the real world, you or Sawyer would have never even looked at me or talked to me."

"That's not true," Jack argued.

"Yeah it is, you don't have to lie about it."

"O.k. probably not," he agreed. "But it would have been a big mistake to never talk to you."

"Our paths would have never crossed before but they have now," she said looking at him.

"Well I'm glad they did," he said. "I have someone to talk to and I got a massage," he said smiling. "Any chance I can get another one?" he asked hopefully.

"Well anytime one of us has button duty, feel free to ask," she told him.

"Oh I will," Jack said and they were quiet. "So when do you have button duty again?"

"Not for a few more days," she told him. "Well its getting late, I'm going to go to bed," she said and walked towards the beds and climbed on the top bunk. "Good night Jack," she said.

"Good night," Jack said and Stasia laid down.

Jack looked over at her and thought about how different she was from his first impression. He thought she would be pampered and spoiled and stuck up but she wasn't. She was sweet and pretty and actually really friendly. She was definitely not the type of girl he usually fell for, she was like eight or nine years younger than him and well that seemed to be really the only reason he found to not really make a move for her. Oh and maybe her feelings for Sawyer could get in the way. Although she always tells him there isn't anything between her and Sawyer, it doesn't mean she doesn't want there to be anything. Well it also means she doesn't want anything to happen between us either, Jack thought. He sighed heavily.

"What are you thinking about?" Stasia asked.

"I thought you were asleep," Jack said.

"Well I'm really not that sleepy," she admitted. "You looked deep in thought," she added.

"Were you watching me?"

"No," she answered and he looked over at her. "And I'm not lying," she added.

"Ok," Jack said.

"But what if I was looking at you?" she asked sitting up. "Would that bother you?"

"I don't think so," he answered.

"Good," she said and laid back down. _"Because I was looking at you" _she added to herself. "Good night Jack,"

"Good night," Jack replied.

* * *

Stasia woke up in the middle of the night to go to the bathroom, she noticed Jack was sleeping on the bottom bed. She walked over and looked at him. She could totally fall for him, what girl wouldn't want a guy like Jack. But could he fall for someone like her? She ran a finger across his forehead and down his cheek. The computer beeped and Stasia looked at it, Jack opened his eyes.

"Is that the computer?"

"I got it," Stasia said laying her hand on his chest. "Go back to sleep Jack," she added and walked over to the computer and entered the code in and the counter flipped back to 108.

"Thanks," Jack said.

"You're welcome," she said. "Now get some rest."

"I'll try."

"If anyone deserves to relax and rest you do Jack," she said and climbed back on the top bunk.

"Thanks," he said again.

"Jack," she said. "Were you playing golf when Eko and I brought Sawyer back?"

"Yeah, Hurley set up a golf course," he told her.

"That's nice of him, probably gives everyone a chance to relax."

"Yeah it does."

"You any good?"

"Huh?" he asked confused.

"At golf, you any good?"

"I'm ok."

"Did you play golf before the island."

"Yep," he said.

"Doctor playing golf," Stasia said teasing. "So typical." She added and Jack laughed.

"I'll have to take you to the golf course tomorrow and we'll see if you can play golf."

"I'll save you the trouble," she said. "I can't,"

"We'll see," Jack said.

* * *

The next day Stasia was sitting on the beach, she was trying to write, finish that song. She had already had lunch and she hadn't seen Jack since this morning, so much for the golf course.

"Sometimes the words just don't come do they?" someone asked.

"Hey Charlie," she said and he sat down by her. "How are you doing?"

"You mean because everyone hates me now?" he asked. "I wasn't trying to hurt Aaron," he said.

"But you could have Charlie, I know you were trying to do the right thing."

"Yeah I was and now Claire doesn't want me around Aaron anymore," he sighed.

"I'm sorry, but just give her what she asked for right now Charlie and if you prove she can trust you again, she just might trust you. But you can't go forcing yourself on her, she won't like that."

"Alright," Charlie said and they were quiet. "Why don't you let me hear what you have so far on your song,"

"Ok I guess." She said and picked her guitar up and started to play it and then she sang.

"You look at me and see the girl, who lives inside the golden world. But don't believe that's all there is to see, you'll never know the real me. She smiles through a thousand tears and harbors adolescent fears, She dreams of all that she can never be, She wades in insecurity, And hides herself inside of me,"

"That's sad, but pretty," he told he.

"I just need to finish it," she sighed.

"You will," Charlie said. "I'm going to go for a walk," he said standing up.

"Bye Charlie," she said.

"Bye," he replied and walked away.

* * *

Stasia played her guitar.

"Don't say she takes it all for granted, I'm well aware of all I have, Don't think that I am Disenchanted, please understand. It seems as if I've always been, somebody outside looking in."

"Hey," someone said and she looked up and smiled.

"Hey Jack," she said smiling.

"You want to take a break from that and come with me?" he asked holding his hand out. He had golf clubs.

"Yeah I do," Stasia said and she put her guitar down and placed her hand in his and he pulled her up.

"Let's go," he said and he started to walk.

"Where are we going?" she asked following him.

"To the golf course," he told her. They walked in silence.

* * *

"Well here we are," Jack said when they arrived.

"Not bad," she said following him out. He put the clubs down and got a golf ball from the bag and set it up on the ground.

"Go on," he said holding a club out to her

"I have to go first," she said.

"Fine I'll go," Jack said and he stood close to the ball and swung the golf club.

"Nice," Stasia replied.

"Thanks," he said. "Your turn," he said and he had another golf ball and he put it on the ground. He handed Stasia a golf club and she took it.

"Ok, but I'm no good at this," she told him and stood by the ball.

"Wait!" Jack said before she swung. "Don't stand with your feet so close together. Don't hold the gold club so tight either." She looked over at him. He walked over to her. "Ok feet further apart," he said kicking gently at her heels and she did. "Now your hands need to be more like this," he said placing his hands over hers and moving them like they should be. "You don't have to hold the club that tight," he said and Stasia was surprised at how close he was to her, she could actually feel his breath on her neck when he talked. "And then you just swing." He said running his hands slowly up her arms and on her shoulders. He ran his hands down her sides and finally rested them on her waist. "Go on," he said. "Let's see how you do," he told her.

"Ok," she said nervously, how was she supposed to try and play golf when all she could think about was Jack's hands on her and how close he was to her. She swung the golf club but the ball didn't go very far.

"That wasn't so good," Jack said.

"I'm sorry," she sighed and leaned back against him. "I wasn't concentrating."

"Why not?"

"I don't know," she said, tucking her hair behind her ears as Jack slipped his hands from her waist to rest on her stomach, so his arms were around her waist. "I was distracted."

"Why?" Jack asked.

"I don't know," she said turning around, Jack's arms were still around her.

"Try again," Jack said.

"I'm not going to do any better," she told him.

"Go on and try again," he said and she nodded and turned around. Jack went and got the golf ball and put it back for her to try and hit again. Jack then placed his hands back on her waist. "Remember feet apart and concentrate," he said. "Can you do that?" he asked, his mouth was right by her ear.

"I'll try," she said and she swung again and it went a little further that last time.

"You're not trying," he said.

"I am," she argued turning around to look at him.

"You need to concentrate," he told her.

"I'm trying Jack, but I told you I couldn't play golf to begin with."

"I know you did," he said. "We don't have to play golf," he added.

"Really?" she asked. "You sure?" she asked. "I mean I can play," she said.

"You can play but…"

"I might could do better if you weren't so close to me," she told him.

"Oh I'm sorry," he said, he sounded offended. "I didn't mean to get to close," he said, he sounded like she hurt his feelings. He moved his hands off her waist and took a few steps back. "Go on." He said gesturing to the golf ball.

"Jack," she said turning around and walking towards him. "I didn't say that to hurt your feelings," she added.

"You didn't," he said as if he didn't believe her.

"No I haven't even known you that long," she said. "But that's not the point." She added, "Anyway when you were that close to me, I couldn't concentrate and I was kind of nervous," she admitted, she was also kind of embarrassed she just said that.

"Nervous good or nervous bad?" Jack asked.

"Nervous good," she told him.

"Oh," he said. "So I was close to you in a good way?" he asked taking a step towards her.

"Yeah,"

"So, what about Sawyer?" he asked, twirling her hair around his finger.

"I don't know Jack," she whispered.

"But you're really attracted to him."

"Yes," she admitted.

"And you seem to really enjoy kissing him."

"Ok," she said. "I like kissing Sawyer but I also haven't kissed a guy since Cole."

"Are you serious?" Jack asked shocked.

"Yeah I thought I told you about it or maybe I told Sawyer that."

"You told Sawyer about what happened between you and Cole?"

"No, he doesn't know the story. Just that I haven't kissed a guy, been with a guy, dated a guy since Cole."

"Two years?" Jack asked shocked.

"Yeah."

"You weren't lonely?" he asked.

"Of course," She answered. "But I just couldn't date anyone else, I didn't want anyone else."

"What happened must have been traumatic, but you didn't have to shut yourself away for two years," Jack told her.

"I know," she sighed. "But I didn't even want to meet anyone else, I never even tried to meet anyone else."

"I mean guys had to ask you out," Jack said.

"They did?" she asked. "Why do you say that?"

"Don't act like you don't know you're beautiful," Jack said softly.

"Ok, so guys asked me out but it didn't feel right to go out with any of them. When the right guy came along I just thought I would know but now I'm not so sure."

"Because you thought that guy was Sawyer?" Jack asked.

"Yeah," she sighed sitting down on the ground. "Is that crazy?"

"Well no," Jack said sitting by her.

"I'm not so sure about Sawyer anymore."

"Why not?"

"It doesn't matter," she told Jack looking away.

"Is there someone else besides Sawyer?" Jack asked.

"We should probably head back," Stasia said ignoring his question.


	14. Jack and Stasia

**A/N: Enjoy the chapter, I hope you like it. Please review.**

Rating: M

Disclaimer: I don't own Lost or anything you might recognize. Stasia is my character.

Summary: Stasia was in the tail section of the plane when it crashed. She was going to deliver a letter to a man named James Ford. When the plane crashes she's sure she'll never find him until one day she finds him in the last person she expected.CHAPTER 15

* * *

Jack went back to the hatch and Stasia made her way to the beach. She saw Libby alone and walked over to her.

"Hey," Stasia said.

"Hey," Libby replied. "I haven't seen you much lately, where have you been?"

"With Jack, mostly," she answered.

"Jack," Libby repeated smiling.

"So Hurley asked me about you?" Stasia told her.

"I know," Libby said.

"Well do you like him?"

"Yeah I do," she told her.

"Good, he's a nice guy."

"He is," Libby said. "So you and Jack?"

"Its not like that, nothing going on," she told her.

"Is that what you want?"

"Like I know what I want," she said smiling.

"I've been there before," Libby told her. "And the truth is you know what you want but you just don't want to admit it yet."

"Maybe," she said. "But how can I want one guy so much but still be so attracted to another guy?"

We're human, we're not perfect," Libby said. "And most girls are going to look at other guys but looking is ok as long as you don't do anything else."

"Yeah I guess so but I just wish it would go away," she told her. "I don't like being attracted to two guys at the same time, its never happened to me before," she admitted.

"First time for everything." Libby replied.

"Yeah I guess so," she sighed. "I'll see you later," she told Libby and walked away.

* * *

As Stasia walked down the beach she saw Sawyer sitting outside his tent with sunglasses on. She walked over.

"I hope you have sunscreen on," she said and Sawyer took his sunglasses off and looked up at her.

"Blue," he said. "I haven't seen you at all last night or today," he said. "Where you been?" he asked and she sat down beside him.

"I've been around," she told him.

"Around," Sawyer said and she nodded. "Fine you don't have to tell me anything," he said.

"I know," she said smiling.

"Who's Cole?" he asked. "You ever going to tell me about that?"

"Cole was one of my boyfriends, we dated for two years, I loved him more than he loved me," she told him. "That's all you need to know."

"You mean that's all you're going to tell me," he said.

"Well yeah, I don't want to keep reliving what happened with Cole, I'll never forget Cole but I'm trying to move past it instead of dwelling on it everyday."

"Ok," Sawyer said. "I guess I get that."

"Ok," she said.

* * *

A few days later Natalie was sitting on the beach alone. It was amazing how people had adjusted to being here. A few minutes later someone sat down by her, she looked over.

"I thought you had button duty tonight," he said.

"I do Jack, I'm fixing to get ready to leave."

"I can walk with you," he said.

"Alright," she agreed and stood up. She went to her tent to get her bag and a few other things and then her and Jack headed towards the Hatch.

When they arrived Locke was on duty.

"Good afternoon John," Stasia said.

"Oh hello Stasia," he said looking up at her. "Jack."

"Well I'm here for the night," Stasia said. "But you don't have to rush off if you don't want to," she added and they talked for a few minutes and Locke finally left and Stasia settled into the chair behind the computer and Jack pulled the other chair over and sat down.

"What do you want Jack?" Stasia asked.

"I was wondering," he said.

"Yeah," Stasia said smiling.

"You're going to make me ask?" he asked.

"Oh yeah," she said smiling.

"Even though you know what I want," he added.

"Yeah," she said nodding her head.

"I was wondering if at some point tonight, you would give me a massage?" he asked.

"Maybe," she teased.

"Maybe," Jack repeated.

"At some point tonight I will," she said. "Or if you get ready to leave just let me know."

"I was thinking that maybe I'd just sleep on the top bunk," Jack said.

"If you want," she said. "If you keep staying with me when I have button duty, I just might expect every time I have button duty," she told him. "You wouldn't want to spoil me."

"Well what do you think you're doing when you give me a massage?"

"But you deserve that Jack," she said. "You're the only trained doctor we have and you're pulled in like 100 different directions everyday because everyone needs you," she said. "You deserve a few minutes to rest and relax and just forget about everything and everyone else but yourself," she told him. "Even if its only long enough for a five or ten minute massage."

"Thanks for saying that," Jack said.

* * *

A couple hours later Stasia looked over at Jack.

"Ready for that massage?"

"Yeah," Jack said standing up. The computer beeped and Stasia entered the code and stood up and walked over to Jack. She looked at him. She stood up and walked over to him and looked up at him.

"Well you have a button down shirt on today, so its going to have to come off," she told him and she started to undo the buttons. When she undid the last button she slid the shirt off of him running her hands down his arms as she slid it off. It fell to the floor and her hands touched his and Jack closed his hands over hers.

"Same as last time," she said quietly. "Lie on your stomach," Jack nodded and walked to the bed. Stasia bent down and picked his shirt up and laid it on the table, then she walked over to the bed and sat down by Jack. She placed her hands on his shoulders and started to massage. She slowly worked her way down his back.

"That feels good," he whispered and Stasia massaged his sides and then returned to his shoulders.

"I'm glad you approve," she said smiling. "So you like Kate?"

"Yeah I like her," Jack answered.

"I mean do you like her in a I want to kiss you and throw you down on the ground and have hot sweaty sex with you kind of way?"

"Why would you want to know that?" Jack asked.

"Just curious," she said. "Whether you are taken or not."

"I'm not taken," Jack told her. Why do you want to know?"

"No reason, just asking," she said stopping his massage. "I'm done," she said and Jack sat up. Stasia stood up and walked back over and sat down in front of the computer. Jack walked over and got his shirt and put it on. Stasia looked over at him.

"What is it?" he asked.

"Nothing," she answered looking away.

"Is it really nothing?" he asked walking over to her and she nodded. "Look at me," he demanded and she turned around and looked up at him.

"What?" she asked. He took her hands in his and pulled her up. He looked down at her and pushed her hair away from her face.

"What do you want?" he asked softly.

"I…I…I don't know," she said quietly looking down.

"Anastasia," Jack said placing his hand under her chin and she looked up at him again. "What do you want?"

"I…" Stasia said.

"I want to kiss you," he said.

"Really?" she asked.

"Yeah," he said nodding. "Is that ok with you?"

"Yeah," she said nodding and Jack took a step towards her closing the distance between them. He laid his hand against her cheek and rested his forehead against hers. He pulled back and looked at her and slowly began to move towards her. His lips were getting closer to hers and they were about to touch when, the computer beeped.

"Damn," Jack said.

"I have to get that," Stasia said and she reluctantly turned around and entered the numbers and then turned back around. Jack ran his thumb over her lips as Stasia reached out and touched his face. Jack gently placed his hands over hers and moved them from his face keeping her hands in his. He moved towards her slowly and finally his lips met hers. Stasia closed her eyes as Jack kissed her. She ran her hands up his arms to rest on his shoulders as he ran his hands down her body and rested them on her lower back and pulled her closer to him so their bodies were touching. Stasia sighed and leaned into his slow, steady kiss. She felt Jack's tongue slowly run across her lips. Jack's kiss made Stasia weak in the knees and she felt as if she would fall any minute. Jack pulled away and tightened his arms around her, holding her to him. She opened her eyes and looked at him.

"You ok?" Jack asked.

"Yeah," she whispered and neither one of them said anything they were just staring at each other.

"Jack," Stasia whispered. "What does this mean?"

"What do you mean?" he asked.

"I mean am I supposed to go on pretending we're friends and deny I'm attracted to you?" she asked. "Deny that I've thought about kissing you for a while now, Deny that I've dreamed about kissing you?"

"Dreamed about me?" he asked. "Really?"

"Yeah," she said. "Is that weird for you?"

"Not if it was a good dream," Jack said.

"It was a good dream," she told him.

"So you and me," Jack said softly. "You want me?"

"Oh yeah I do," she said.

"And that there really isn't anything between you and Sawyer," he said hopefully.

"No there's not," she told him. "I've wanted you for a while and I guess I was afraid to admit it."

"Why?" Jack asked pushing her hair away from her eyes.

"You're different than every other guy I dated," she explained. "And that's a good thing," she added.

"I'm glad it's a good thing," Jack said.

"So you really want me?" she asked as if she didn't believe him.

"Yes I do," he told her. "Why is that so hard to believe?"

"I don't know Jack, it just is."

"You can believe that I do like you and that I do want to be with you."

"I believe you Jack," she told. "And you know I want you."

"So we're going to try this?" he asked.

"If you want to," she told him sliding her arms around his neck.

"You know I do."

"So what do we do now. Do we go and tell everyone what we decided or do we keep it quiet?"

"I don't know, what do you think?" he asked.

"Well if we let everyone know about us its like we're showing off that we found someone," she told him. "But if we keep it quiet its like we're afraid it won't work out and we're to scared to admit our relationship to other people."

"I don't care if everyone knows," Jack said.

"Me either."

"Good," Jack sighed and he kissed her again tightening his arms around her. Stasia leaned into him and kissed him back. When she pulled away she looked up at him.

"Jack," she whispered.

"What about Sawyer?" he asked.

"Who?" she said. "Sawyer," she said as if remembering.

"Jack I told you, there isn't anything between me and Sawyer, I promise." She said.

"So what about you and me?" he asked.

"I thought we talked about that already," she said.

"Are you ready to face Sawyer when he finds out about us?" Jack asked.

"Yeah, I can handle Sawyer," she told him.


	15. Either you trust me or you don't

**A/N: Enjoy the chapter, I hope you like it. Please review and tell me who you think Stasia should end up with, Jack or Sawyer.**

Rating: M

Disclaimer: I don't own Lost or anything you might recognize. Stasia is my character.

Summary: Stasia was in the tail section of the plane when it crashed. She was going to deliver a letter to a man named James Ford. When the plane crashes she's sure she'll never find him until one day she finds him in the last person she expected.

* * *

The next day Jack and Stasia walked back to the beach together. They stopped walking when they got to the beach and Jack looked over at her.

"I'll see you later, I'm going to go check on Claire and the baby," he said.

"Alright," Stasia said smiling and Jack leaned down and kissed her. "Bye," Stasia said and he smiled and turned to go find Claire. Stasia turned around to walk to the beach and wasn't paying attention and walked right into someone.

"I'm sorry," she said looking up. "Hey," she said.

"Anastasia," he said, it was Sawyer.

"James, are you alright?"

"What was that all about?" he asked.

"What are you talking about?"

"Jack," he said. "I thought you said nothing was going on between you two."

"Well there wasn't then, but as of last night…"

"Am I that easy to forget?" he asked.

"No you're not," she told him. "Believe me you're not."

"Then you and Jack?" he asked.

"I like Jack, I'm not going to lie about it," she said.

"And you believe he likes you?" Sawyer asked.

"That's what he said," she told him. "Are you telling me he's lying?"

"No," Sawyer said. "I'm sure he does and you think you like him." He said. "Because he's safe."

"Are you saying I don't know what I want?" she asked crossing her arms.

"Yeah maybe I am," Sawyer said and walked away. Stasia stared at him but soon followed him.

"James," she said. "I know I like Jack."

"You liked me not to long ago," he pointed out.

"The thing is you're letting my father get in the way and if you're going to do that then there's no point in us even trying."

"What if I said I could get past who your father is and what he did?" he asked.

"I'd say you're to late," she said and walked away.

"No I'm not," he said to himself.

* * *

Stasia turned back after she got a few steps away to see Sawyer turn and walk away. She sighed and turned around, Jack was standing in front of her.

"Jack," she said smiling. "How's Claire and Aaron?"

"They're fine," he answered. "So what were you doing?"

"Nothing Jack, I was just talking to Sawyer," she said. "He wanted to know what was going on with us I guess. He thought there wasn't anything between us."

"Oh and what did you say?"

"Well I told him there really wasn't anything between us until last night," she said tucking her hair behind her ears.

"He didn't take it to well," Jack said.

"No, he said I only think I like you because you're safe."

"Is that true?"

"No Jack, it doesn't matter what Sawyer says, I want you," she told him taking a step towards him, she took his hands in hers and he smiled. "And I'm not going to keep on saying that over and over again, you need to trust me."

"Can I trust you when it comes to Sawyer?" he asked.

"Yes," she said. "You can't expect me to never talk to him, we're stuck on the same island." She said. "But you're the one I want Jack," she said softly.

"Alright," he said.

"You know I've never met anyone quite like you," she said.

"What do you mean?"

"All the guys I've known have been complete jerks and that includes my father," she told him.

"I'm sorry," Jack whispered.

"But you Jack, You're different. You're patient, kind, caring, talented," she said running her hands up his arms. "Sexy," she added.

"Sexy," Jack said smiling.

"Totally," she said and he leaned down and kissed her.

* * *

Sawyer was sitting outside his tent pretending to read. How could he fix things to make Stasia forget about Jack. He let his hatred for her father get in the way of being with her, which is what he wanted or what he thought he wanted.

"Hey!" someone said and Sawyer looked up.

"Hey Freckles," he said.

"What's going on with Jack?" Kate asked.

"You mean Doc and Blue?" he asked.

"Yeah," Kate said. "They're together all the time now and I saw him kiss her just now."

"Oh that," Sawyer sighed. "Apparently they're together now."

"Together as in together or together as in they've slept together."

"I'm almost positive they haven't slept together," Sawyer told Kate and she sat down by him.

"How do you know?" she asked.

"Body language Freckles and nothing suggests they've done anything more than kiss," he told her putting his book down.

"But they've been alone in the hatch alone plenty of times," Kate pointed out.

"So." Sawyer said. "If I believed they had slept together, I would have no hope of getting her away from him."

"You actually believe she'd rather have you than Jack?" Kate asked in disbelief.

"She wanted me first," Sawyer told her.

"Doesn't mean she still wants you or that she wants you now."

"Look I was an idiot and I let something get in the way and she told me if I let this thing get in the way we couldn't be together. That's when she started turning to Jack," Sawyer told her. "So if she stays with Jack I essentially pushed her right into his arms."

"You actually liked her didn't you?" Kate asked.

"Yeah I did," he admitted.

Kate left a few minutes later and Sawyer picked up his book and tried to read again. Someone soon sat down beside him. He ignored them but knew they wouldn't go away so he finally closed his book and put it down. He looked over.

"Blue," he said.

"Are you mad at me?" she asked.

"No, why would I be mad?"

"Because of my relationship with Jack," she answered.

"I mean if that's what you want why should I stop you," he said. "I mean its my fault we're not together, I let my hatred towards your father get in the way," he admitted.

"I can't believe you're actually admitting that," Stasia said shocked.

"If Jack is who you want then I'm sure you'll be happy," he told her.

"You're being to nice," she said.

"I'm not a complete asshole all the time," Sawyer said smirking.

"I know," she said softly. "I just don't want my relationship with Jack to come between me and you being friends."

"Friends," he repeated.

"Yeah James I do actually like you," she said smiling.

"Yeah Blue I like you to," he said. "If friends is all I can get I'll take it."

"Thanks," she said and kissed him on the cheek and got up and left.

* * *

Stasia walked down the beach and saw Jack talking to Sayid.

"Hey," she said smiling up at Jack. "Is everything ok?"

"Can you give us a minute?" Jack asked Sayid.

"Of course," Sayid said and walked away. Jack looked at Stasia.

"You're mad," she said.

"I thought you said there was nothing between you and Sawyer."

"There's not Jack," she said. "We were talking that's it."

"But you did kiss him," Jack pointed out.

"On the cheek Jack," she told him. "He knows there isn't going to be anything between us, that you're the one I want," she added.

"Stasia," he said softly.

"And Jack I'm not going to go over and over this with you. Either you trust me or you don't," she told him.

"I trust you, I don't trust Sawyer," he told her.

"Jack don't worry about Sawyer ok," she said.

"I'll try," he said. "But its not easy."


	16. You look good dirty

**A/N: Enjoy the chapter, I hope you like it. Please review and tell me who you think Stasia should end up with, Jack or Sawyer.**

Rating: M

Disclaimer: I don't own Lost or anything you might recognize. Stasia is my character.

Summary: Stasia was in the tail section of the plane when it crashed. She was going to deliver a letter to a man named James Ford. When the plane crashes she's sure she'll never find him until one day she finds him in the last person she expected.

* * *

A few days later Stasia was walking through the jungle gathering some fruit. She put the fruit in her bag as she picked it. She stopped to get a drink of water. She put the bottle back in her bag and threw her bag over her shoulder. She started to walk and she heard a loud roaring noise. She stopped and looked around and she heard it again.

"Oh NO!" she exclaimed and ran. She looked behind her and saw nothing but continued to run because she heard something coming after her. She looked behind her again and tripped and fell into some mud.

"Great," she said to herself and the loud roaring started again. She quickly got up and ran again. As she was running she ran right into Sawyer.

"Hey Blue," he said.

"RUN!" she exclaimed and he heard the roaring and he grabbed her hand they both started running.

"Look!" he said stopping. "Lets hide in here."

"No, what's in there, you have no idea," she told him.

"Well I think that whatever's in there is much better than what's chasing us," he said and he pulled her in and pushed her all the way to the back of the cave and the roaring came closer and she leaned against Sawyer and he put his arms around her. After about fifteen minutes the noise stopped.

"Is it gone?" she asked quietly.

"I don't know," he said. "It sounds like it," he added.

"Maybe we should head back," she said pulling away from him.

"It could still be out there waiting for us and its going to be dark soon," Sawyer said.

"Are you suggesting we stay here?" she asked.

"I think it would be better," he said sitting down as if he had no intention of leaving. Stasia looked at him.

"Ok, I guess you're right. It would be stupid to walk back through the jungle at night," she agreed and sat down by him.

"Are you alright?" he asked concerned.

"Yeah I'm ok, just a little shook up still," she admitted. She sat her bag down beside her.

"I hate being all dirty," she said trying to get some of the mud off of her but she only succeeded in slinging it on Sawyer's shirt and face.

"Hey!," he exclaimed and she looked at him.

"I'm sorry," she said laughing slightly "But mud looks good on you," she added.

"Can't look as good on me as it does on you," he told her and they looked around the cave.

"You hungry?" she asked him.

"Yeah," he said and she opened her bag and took out some fruit and handed him a few pieces. "Its all I have, but I'll share," she told him.

"Thanks," he said taking some of the fruit from her. Stasia looked over at him and took a bite of her fruit. When she finished her fruit she took a drink of water.

"Water?" she asked Sawyer.

"Thanks," he said taking the bottle and taking a drink. He handed it back to her and their fingers touched as she took the bottle. Stasia looked up at him and their eyes met.

"You sure Jack's who you want?" Sawyer asked.

"Yeah," she whispered.

"So if I kissed you right now you wouldn't kiss me back you'd push me away," he said.

"Uh-huh," she said never looking away from him. Sawyer let go of the water bottle and ran his fingers lightly up her arm, and resting his hand behind her neck. Sawyer leaned forward and pressed his lips to hers. Stasia closed her eyes as he kissed her. Wow he really was a good kisser. Stasia ran her hands up his arms and rested them on his shoulders and pulled herself closer to him. She felt Sawyer run his tongue along her lips and her lips parted and Sawyer pushed his tongue into her mouth. In the back of her mind Stasia knew it was wrong to be kissing Sawyer but she couldn't make herself stop. Sawyer pulled away and rested his forehead against hers, they were both breathing heavily. Sawyer twirled her hair around his finger and then kissed her again and lowered her to the ground. Stasia looked up at him and Sawyer kissed her neck and Stasia closed her eyes.

"Wait!" she said. "James, James," she said pushing him away. "Sawyer!" she exclaimed and he pulled away.

"What?" he asked.

"I can't do this with you," she told him.

"You're serious?" he asked.

"Yeah," she said and he sat up. "I'm sorry," she said but Sawyer wouldn't look at her. Stasia stood up and walked a few steps away. Sawyer looked over at her, he sighed and stood up and walked over to her.

"Hey Blue," he said but she didn't look at him. "You ok?" he asked. She just nodded.

"I'm sorry, I shouldn't have kissed you," he said.

"Its not your fault," she said. "I shouldn't have let you, I shouldn't have enjoyed it so much," she told him.

"Can I ask you a question?"

"Sure," she said turning around to look at him.

"There's something between us right?"

"Yeah there is," she answered.

"Then why do you want Jack so much when we could have something great?" he asked.

"There's something between me and Jack and I guess I want to see where that can go," she told him.

"So I really messed up," he said. "If I hadn't been so stupid we could be together right now," he added.

"Yeah probably," she admitted.

"So its my fault your with Jack. I pushed you right into his arms," Sawyer sighed.

"James," she said. "I've been with guys like you and they did nothing but break my heart."

"And you think Jack won't?" Sawyer asked.

"I don't know," she admitted. "I don't know."

"Jack could break your heart as easily as any other guy," Sawyer told her.

"I know," she said. "Jack will be so mad if he finds out."

"So don't tell him," Sawyer said.

"Start out our relationship by lying to him," she said. "I can't." she added. "He'll never believe I spent the whole night in a cave with you and nothing happened."

"He doesn't trust you?" Sawyer asked.

"He says he does," Stasia sighed. "And I think he trusts me," she added. "I don't think he trusts me when it comes to you. I don't think he trusts me to be alone with you and I just proved that he can't," she said and covered her face with her hands. "We should get some sleep so we can head back in the morning," she told him and he nodded and walked back to where they were sitting and sat down Stasia walked a few steps from where she was standing and sat down.

"You're going to sleep all the way over there?" he asked.

"Yeah its safer this way," she said and laid down. "Good night James," she said.

"Good night," he replied as he stretched out on the ground.

* * *

Stasia woke up some time in the night and she was cold, she wished she kept a blanket in her bag. She looked over at Sawyer, he was sleeping and seemed to be very comfortable. Stasia sat up and walked closer to him and sat down by him.

"James," she said quietly. "James," she said pushing his shoulder. He opened his eyes.

"Blue," he said groggily. "What's wrong?"

"I'm cold," she admitted. "It's a lot colder in here than at the beach."

"Well I'm not hiding a blanket anywhere," he told her.

"I know, I just thought if I slept closer to you, I could steal some of your body heat, its really cold over there."

"Sure," he said. "If that's what you want," he added.

"Yeah it is," she said.

"Alright," he said and she laid down by him.

"Thanks," she said quietly and looked at him and he nodded and they soon fell asleep.

* * *

The next morning when Stasia woke up she couldn't move her leg. She slowly opened her eyes and looked over and saw Sawyer next to her. She had her head on his shoulder and his arm was around her waist. She looked down and saw that somehow her leg was between his, that's why she couldn't move it. She sighed, of all times to be tangled up with Sawyer. She tried to move her leg but only succeeded in making Sawyer hold her tighter and pull her closer, as if they weren't close enough already.

"Great," she sighed. "James," she said. "James," she said taping him on the chest. "James," she said again.

"What," he groaned.

"Wake up," she said and Sawyer slowly opened his eyes and looked at her.

"Morning," he said.

"I can't move," she said.

"Why?" he asked.

"Cause you won't let go of me," she said and Sawyer untangled himself from Stasia and they both stood up.

"So we should go," Sawyer said.

"Yeah lets go," Stasia agreed and grabbed her bag. They headed out of the cave and made their way back to the beach.

"I can't wait to get clean, the mud's dried on me now and I feel so gross."

"Well you don't look it," he said smirking.

"You can't honestly say you find me attractive right now," she said.

"I don't think I could ever find you not attractive," he said.

"In a weird kind of way that's kind of sweet," she told him.

"Sweet, yeah just the other day I heard someone say 'Sawyer sure is sweet'," he said sarcastically. "Yeah sweet, that's the one word everyone on this island uses to describe me, don't you think?"

"I think its more like inconsiderate jackass," Stasia said smiling.

"That's two words Blue," he pointed out. "But its probably true," he added and they were quiet.

"Hey James," she said grabbing his arm as they walked. "You know what I miss most?"

"What?"

"Food," she said. "I love food. I'd love some fried chicken, mashed potatoes and gravy, apple pie, chocolate cake…"

"You can eat all that?" Sawyer asked shocked.

"Yep," she said.

"And you still look like that."

"Yep. I keep busy, I exercise a lot so I work it off," she said. "I also miss baked beans. Cole's grandparents were really nice to me, I think they felt sorry for me. Anyway they had us over a lot for dinner," she told him loping her arm through his. "So Cole's granddad made the best baked beans I ever tasted."

"What did he put in them?"

"Bourbon," she answered. "And he laid pineapple slices over the beans."

"I bet the bourbon made them really good."

"I don't know if it was the bourbon or not but they were really good."

"You don't miss your friends or your mom?"

"I didn't have that many friends. I was to busy working," she said. "My mom's dead," she told him.

"Oh I'm sorry, I didn't know."

"Its not your fault," she told him.

"I can't believe you didn't have many friends."

"Well I was to busy recording, trying to be successful," she said. "But I have friends now," she added. "Claire, Charlie, Hurley, Libby, Jack," she said. "And you."

"I was hoping you were going to include me," he said.

"I really don't want to tell Jack that I spent the whole night with you in a cave," she said. "he won't take it well."

"I'm sorry, I guess we should have came back last night instead of staying."

"No, you were right, it wasn't safe to walk through the jungle at night, with no flashlight or anything. Not knowing who or what's out there." She said. "I'll explain what happened and he'll either understand or he won't."

"I'm sure he will," Sawyer said and they were quiet. "Hey, I'm sorry if I messed things up for you with Jack."

"No you're not," she said. "You don't have to lie about it." She added. "I like the fact that you say what's on your mind."

"You're the only one," he sighed. "And you're right, I wouldn't be sorry if I mess things up for you and Jack, but last night wasn't intentional."

"I know," she said. "But he doesn't," she told him. "I know he'll be mad because I'm with you and he'll be like 'why are you so dirty? What happened to you?'"

"Good Jack voice," Sawyer said smiling. "But you look good dirty."

* * *

Stasia and Sawyer finally made it back to the beach and Jack spotted them as soon as they stepped foot on the beach.

"Here he comes," Sawyer whispered.

"Where have you been all night?" Jack asked angrily. "I was worried, but I guess I should have known you'd be with him."

"Its not like that Jack," Stasia told him.

"Really?" he asked as if he didn't believe her and looked at their arms which were still looped together. Stasia followed his gaze and quickly pulled her arm away from Sawyer's.

"Its nothing Jack, I promise, nothing happened." She said and Jack looked at her.

"Why are you so dirty? What happened to you?" Jack asked and Sawyer shook his head.

"I was picking fruit when I heard a noise, growling, whatever you want to call it." She explained. "So I had to run and it sounded like it was coming after me. I fell in a mud hole and then I ran into Sawyer and we hid out in a cave," she went on. "It was getting late and we stayed in the cave all night instead of walking back through the jungle."

"And I'm supposed to believe you stayed all night in a cave with him and nothing happened?" Jack asked. "I'm supposed to believe that just because you say so."

"Yeah you are Jack, because nothing did happen." She said and Jack looked at her and it was clear he didn't believe her.

"I think you should go get cleaned up and we'll talk later," Jack said and walked away.

"Jack," Stasia called out but he kept walking and she looked at Sawyer.

"I'll see you later James," she sighed.

"You ok?" he asked.

"I'll be fine," Stasia told him and walked away.

* * *

Stasia went and cleaned up and then decided to go find Jack and talk to him. She didn't know where he was. She started looking at the beach but he wasn't there so she went to the hatch and found him sitting at the computer.

"Jack," she said softly and he looked up.

"Hey," he said and looked back down at the computer. She walked over to him.

"You have to talk to me sometime," she said. "You don't believe me."

"I'm supposed to believe you unwillingly stayed the night with Sawyer," he said. "In the back of your mind you wanted to stay with him."

"No Jack I didn't, I wanted to come back but it was getting late," she told him.

"How convenient," Jack snapped.

"Don't Jack, I know you don't trust me and don't lie and say you do," she said. "At least admit you don't trust me."

"Fine Stasia," he said. "Maybe I don't completely trust you," he added. "But its only when it comes to Sawyer."

"Jack I'm not going to run off and sleep with him," she said. "If I wanted Sawyer I wouldn't be standing here having this conversation with you again."

"I'm not going to apologize, the way you walked onto the beach together, it looked as if…never mind."

"No Jack," she said and she stood in front of him. "As if what?"

"As if you had the best night of your entire life," Jack sighed.

"What?" she asked shocked. "Jack that's not true," she told him.

"So you were miserable the entire night," he said.

"No," she said. "But I wasn't happy either."

"That doesn't make me feel any better," he sighed.

"You either trust me or you don't," she said. "I don't want you to say I trust you some of the time," she added.

"I could trust you more if you didn't hang around Sawyer," he said placing his hands on her hips.

"No Jack," she said. "Either you trust me or you don't and if you don't just tell me and we're over," she told him.


	17. We can't all be perfect

**A/N: Enjoy the chapter, I hope you like it. Please review and tell me who you think Stasia should end up with, Jack or Sawyer.**

Rating: M

Disclaimer: I don't own Lost or anything you might recognize. Stasia is my character.

Summary: Stasia was in the tail section of the plane when it crashed. She was going to deliver a letter to a man named James Ford. When the plane crashes she's sure she'll never find him until one day she finds him in the last person she expected.

* * *

"Stasia," Jack said. "I don't want us to be over but you're making it really hard to trust you."

"I'm sorry Jack, I'm sorry that I'm not as perfect as you," she said upset.

"Stasia," Jack said.

"No Jack," she said.

"Just admit you made a mistake staying with Sawyer last night."

"You want me to say that staying in a cave with Sawyer last night and staying safe instead of walking through the jungle with no flashlight or any type of light was a mistake?" she asked. "No Jack it wasn't a mistake," she told him. "We only hid out because that monster or whatever it is was chasing me, but if you would have rather me get attacked or killed…"

"No Stasia I don't want you to get attacked or killed," he said.

"I'm sorry that I worried you," Stasia apologized. "I didn't do it intentionally," she told him.

"I never said you did," he sighed.

"Jack," she said

"I'm trying to trust you but every time I turn around you're with Sawyer." He said.

"Jack this isn't about Sawyer this is about the fact you don't want me around Sawyer at all," she said. "You just want me to cut him out completely and Jack I'm not going to do that just to make you feel better," she told him. "I mean if I asked you to stop hanging around Kate because I didn't trust you with her would you?"

"That's not the point, you have no reason not to trust me with Kate."

"Well she does like you, I see how she looks at you," Stasia told him crossing her arms.

"That doesn't matter," he said.

"Because you're so perfect you would never make a mistake with Kate," she said.

"Stasia," Jack said frustrated.

"Jack I'm done talking now and I think we just need to give ourselves a minute and you'll see your being ridiculous."

"I'm not being ridiculous, I haven't done anything with Kate and I don't trust Sawyer," he said. "I'm going to my tent we'll talk later," he said.

"Fine Jack," she said "But I hope there's enough parking outside your tent for your high horse!" she exclaimed and walked away.

* * *

Stasia walked onto the beach and into her tent. Sawyer saw her and made his way over.

"Hey Blue," he said and she didn't say anything. "Blue, you ok?" he asked.

"Just leave me alone please," Stasia said.

"You talk to Jack?" Sawyer asked.

"Yes I did," she answered.

"You sound upset, what happened?" Sawyer asked. Stasia noticed he sounded concerned about her. "Can I come in at least or do I have to talk to you from out here?"

"You can come in," Stasia said softly and Sawyer walked in.

"So I don't guess it went to good with Jack," he said.

"No it didn't," she said shaking her head and Sawyer sat next to her.

"What happened?" he asked.

"We basically argued over the fact he doesn't trust me, he says he does just not around you," Stasia told him. "We argued, I told him I wasn't cutting you out of my life just to make him feel better," Stasia said. "I mean we can't all be perfect," she added.

"Nope," Sawyer said.

"Anyway I ended up telling him maybe we should go cool off and think about things for a few minutes," she said. "And then he said he was going to his tent and then I said…never mind."

"No what did you say?" Sawyer asked.

"I told him to go ahead and that I hoped there was enough parking outside his tent for his high horse, and then I walked away."

"I wish I could have seen the look on his face when you said that," Sawyer said.

"You're no help at all," she said and stood up. Sawyer grabbed her hand and pulled her back down.

"Answer a question," he said. "Do you love Jack?"

"I don't know, I haven't known him that long."

"Could you love him?" Sawyer asked.

"Of course I could," she answered.

"Ok another question," he said. "Could you love me?"

"Yeah I could," she answered. "But why is that important?"

"Its not, just wanted to know," he said.

"Have you ever been in love?" Stasia asked.

"Yeah," Sawyer answered. "I know you have with Cole," he added.

"Yeah I was in love with Cole but I'm not sure he ever loved me," She told him.

"Why not?" Sawyer asked.

"Well I don't know, the way he acted."

"So you two just dated you never lived together," he said.

"No we did live together," she told him. "Living with Cole was better than my home."

"Why?" he asked.

"Do we really have to get into this now?" she asked.

"No you don't have to tell me anything," he said.

"Can we just leave it at I didn't have much money growing up, my dad left and took everything, something he seemed to be really good at, my mom did the best she could but we were lucky to pay the bills every month," Stasia told him. "My dad only called me because he was dying and he wanted you to have that letter, not because he wanted to see me."

"Why did you and Cole break up?" he asked.

"Cole and I had been having a lot of problems, he had wanted us to go away on a trip together but my mom died and he got mad because the trip was cancelled. I mean when I came home from the hospital the day my mon died he was eating pizza and watching tv," she told Sawyer. "Cole asked me to marry him."

"Oh and what did you say?"

"Well when he asked me I realized that I couldn't spend the rest of my life with him," she said. "I told him that and he said it was about my career accused me of sleeping with other guys and it wasn't either one of those. Then he got a gun and he shot himself in front of me and I couldn't do anything but scream," she told him and wiped a tear from her eye. "I had nightmares for weeks and I still do sometimes," she told him. "I felt like it was my fault or something."

"That's crazy it wasn't your fault, how could you have known he wouldn't shoot you instead."

"I though he might for a minute but he didn't," she said. "I haven't been with a guy since and you were the first guy I kissed since Cole." She said.

"Yeah but I'm not the one you chose to be with," he sighed.

"But you are the best friend I have here," she said.

"Seeing as not many other people here can stand me, you're the best friend I have to Blue," he said and she laid her head on his shoulder, Sawyer put his arm around her.

"I should probably go find Jack," she said looking over at Sawyer.

"Alright," he said nodding and stood up, Stasia stood up as well and they walked out of her tent together.

"Well I'm going to find Jack," she told Sawyer.

"See you later then," Sawyer said and walked away.

Stasia sighed and turned around.

"Jack," she said. "I was coming to look for you," she said.

"Yeah I see that you were," he said. "That's why you were talking to Sawyer because you were looking for me."

"Don't do this Jack," she said. "I'm really tired of fighting with you about this. Sawyer and I are going to talk occasionally. "He's the best friend I have here but that's as far as it goes," she told him. "I am not going to defend myself to you every time I talk to Sawyer. You either trust me or you don't," she said, "And if you don't trust me we have a big problem."

"Do you trust me?" Jack asked.

"Yeah Jack I do," she answered.

"But you trust Sawyer as well?"

"Yeah Jack I do and you may think that's crazy but I have no problem trusting Sawyer," she answered crossing her arms. "But this is about you and me."

"I can trust you," he said.

"Ok," she said smiling and Jack leaned down and kissed her.

* * *

A few nights later Stasia had button duty again. She was wondering if Jack was going to stop by or if she would have to stay all night by herself. It really was boring if you were by yourself. She let out a heavy sigh as the computer beeped yet again and she slowly punched the number in. Stasia decided to get up and stretch her legs for a while. She wondered why Jack hadn't stopped by yet. It would probably be dark soon as well. Stasia decided to just settle in for the night and get comfortable. She took her jeans off and slipped into a pair of shorts that had Spoiled written across the butt. Then she took her shirt off and reached for a t-shirt to sleep in just as she heard someone call her name.

"Hey Stasia," he said and she looked up.

"James," she said. "What are you doing here?" she asked and put her shirt on.

"Can't I just stop by and see my best friend?" he asked. "We haven't talked in a few days."

"I know we haven't talked and of course you can stop by and see me."

"So I guess you and Jack worked things out?" he asked.

"Yeah," she said. "He said he can trust me and I told him I wasn't cutting you out of my life," she added. "But Jack and I we're ok for now."

"As long as you're happy."

"I am," she told him walking over and sitting in her chair. Sawyer followed her. "What about you James?"

"What about me?"

"Well I haven't seen you the past few days…"

"I've been in the same place I always am, you knew where to find me," he told her

"I know," she said and grabbed her scrunchie off the table and pulled her hair up in a ponytail "I've been with Jack."

"I know you have and Claire told me you had button duty tonight. I know Jack usually stays with you when you have button duty but I took a chance you'd be alone and that I wouldn't walk in on you and Jack doing stuff."

"James," she sighed. "Jack and I are not doing what you're implying and you know that," she told him and he sat down in a chair next to her. "I see you brought a bag."

"Well, you think Jack will stop by?" he asked.

"Its dark already so probably not."

"Did he know you had button duty?" Sawyer asked.

"I don't know," she answered. "But he doesn't have to be here, he's not required to be here."

"But you want him here," Sawyer said.

"Yeah," she sighed.

"Well I can stay since Jack's not here."

Stasia looked over at him. "ok," she agreed. "Top," she said pointing to the beds.

"Yes ma'am," Sawyer said and stood up.

"Hey!" Satsia said and he turned around. "You wouldn't have an extra book in that bag would you?"

"As a matter of fact I do," he said. "I figured we'd be bored so I brought a couple of extra books."

"You figured we'd be bored," she repeated. "You intended to stay when you walked here," she said.

"I did," he admitted.

"What are you up to?"

"Nothing, I promise," he said. "Now how do you feel about Judy Bloom?:"

"I love her books," Stasia said. "I've read like all of them even her adult novels."

"She has adult novels?" Sawyer asked. "I never knew that."

"I didn't either until a couple of years ago," she told him. "But yeah she has a few adult novels that have bad language and sex in them."

"Wow, I would have never known."

"They're actually pretty good," and he nodded and handed the book to her,.

"Freckle Juice," she said. "One of my favorites," she added. "Thanks." She said and he nodded and walked over to the beds throwing his bag on the top bunk.

Stasia opened her book and started to read. Sawyer began settling in for the night. Stasia looked over at him.

"You're not going to bed yet are you?" she asked looking over at him, he was fixing to climb on the top bunk.

"I don't have to," he said. "You want me to stay up with you for a while?" he asked.

"You don't have to," she said and looked back at her book. Sawyer walked over.

"Do you want me to stay up for a while with you?" he asked again.

"You don't have to," she said. "I mean it was really nice of you to come by, I mean I appreciate that you thought of me and came by."

"Of course I thought of you," Sawyer said and he sat down in the chair by her. "And I'm not up to anything," he told her and she nodded.

"So tell me more about you," he said. "I don't really know that much about you." He said and she closed her book and sat it on the table.

"Yeah you do," she said. "You know I was in love with Cole and that I loved him more than he loved me. You know Cole shot himself in front of me after I turned his marriage propsal down, You know my mom and dad are dead. You know my dad ruined your life, " she said. "Lets see oh you know I didn't have much money growing up, you know I'm a singer." She told him. "I mean you actually know a lot about me."

"What's your favorite color?" he asked.

"Would you believe it was Blue?" she asked smiling.

"No."

"Its green," she told him and the computer beeped and she entered the code and looked at Sawyer.

"What about school, how were you in school; smart, preppy, popular…"

"Well I don't know if I was smart or not, I didn't get anything below a C and the C's were in math, I hate math." She told him and propped her elbow on the table and resting in her head in her hand. "I was Sandy in our school's production of Grease," she told him.

"Really and you enjoyed that?"

"Yeah my mom thought I shouldn't do it but I did anyway," she told him.

"Why did she think that?" Sawyer asked.

"Well I believe she said I was pretty enough to be on stage but I just wasn't talented enough," she told Sawyer.

"She really said that?" Sawyer asked shocked.

"Yeah," she sighed. "Maybe in some way my mom blamed me for my dad walking out on us," she added.

"Its not your fault he left, he left because that's the kind of guy he is," Sawyer said. "He screws up people's lives and then leaves them with a mess to clean up," he added. "Which is exactly what I did," he told her.

"I know," she told him.

"But the fact is that I'm really no different than your father and you shouldn't even want me around but you do," he said.

"You are different than my father, you just are," she said.

"Am I really like Cole?" he asked.

"Your actions are," she told him. "You wouldn't ask anyone to marry you and I think you just wouldn't totally loose it, Cole had lost his job not long before he asked me to marry him and I guess it just became to much for him. I mean you don't seem like the marrying type anyway." She said softly and leaned back in her chair.

"You know if the right girl came along I could do just about anything," Sawyer told her.

"Guess so," she sighed.


	18. You're my Princess

**A/N: Enjoy the chapter, I hope you like it. **

Rating: M

Disclaimer: I don't own Lost or anything you might recognize. Stasia is my character.

Summary: Stasia was in the tail section of the plane when it crashed. She was going to deliver a letter to a man named James Ford. When the plane crashes she's sure she'll never find him until one day she finds him in the last person she expected.

* * *

The next morning Sawyer and Stasia walked back to the beach together.

"I wonder why Jack didn't show up last night?" Satsia asked.

"I'm sure it was important," Sawyer told her.

"Yeah I'm sure it was," Stasia agreed and Jack spotted her and walked over.

"I was on my way to see if you were still at the hatch," Jack said. "We're you ok last night?" he asked.

"I was fine."

"I'm sorry I didn't come by, I meant to but something came up here."

"Is everything alright?" she asked.

"Yeah its fine, it turned out to be nothing," Jack told her.

"I'll just see you later," Sawyer said.

"Alright, Thanks," she said and Sawyer walked away. Stasia looked at Jack.

"He came by last night and brought me a book," Stasia told him before he had a chance to ask.

"And did he stay?" Jack asked quickly.

"What if he did?" Stasia asked putting her hands on her hips. "Is that a problem? You said you trusted me."

"I do and sure it's fine if he stayed last night at least you weren't alone," he said. "I was worried about you being alone."

"I was fine," she assured him. "Sawyer stayed and nothing happened."

"Nothing happened…"

"And he didn't try anything either Jack," she told him crossing her arms. "We talked and then he went to sleep."

"So what book did he bring you?" Jack asked trying to change the subject.

"Freckle Juice," she answered. "It's one of my favorites."

"Did you tell him that?" Jack asked.

"Yes after he showed me the book." She told him.

"And he just let you read the book without wanting you to do anything for him?" Jack asked in disbelief.

"Yes Jack he did and I don't like what you're implying," she told him angrily. "And what's with all the questions," she added.

"I didn't mean to imply anything," Jack said. "If I'm being completely honest, its just sometimes I think that you're looking for an excuse to get rid of me."

"That's not true Jack," she said softly. "I don't want to get rid of you," she told him taking a step closer to him and taking her hands in his. "I don't know why you would think that Jack, you're the one I want," she said and he smiled and leaned down and kissed her. Sawyer was across the beach and he looked over and saw Jack and Stasia kissing. He turned away and went to his tent. He sat down outside of it and picked up a book and began to read.

Stasia pulled away from Jack and looked up at him.

"We're ok?" she asked.

"Of course," Jack said and kissed her again.

Hurley saw Sawyer trying to read but is gaze seemed to be fixed across the beach. He followed his gaze to Stasia and Jack kissing and shook his head. It was so obvious he liked her, actually liked her. He stood up and walked over to him.

"Hey Sawyer," Hurley said and Sawyer looked up at him.

"What do you want Jabba?" he asked rudely.

"That book might be better if you actually read it," Hurley said and sat down by him.

"Sure have a seat," Sawyer said. "I am reading the book," he told him looking at the pages.

"Well is 'Fudge-a-mania any good?" Hurley asked.

"Fine Jabba, you got me I'm not reading the book," Sawyer said. "So what?" he asked.

"You know if you have feelings for Stasia, Dude, maybe you should just be honest about them," Hurley told him.

"What makes you think I have feelings for her?" Sawyer asked closing his book.

"Dude, people have seen the way you look at her, the way you were looking at her just a few minutes ago," Hurley said.

"So what if I do have feelings for her?" Sawyer asked. "What good is it going to do for me to tell her, she's with Jack now and I promised her I wouldn't interfere," Sawyer told him.

"What if she feels the same way?" Hurley said and stood up and walked off. Sawyer watched him walk away thinking about what he said. Stasia walked over a few minutes later.

"Hey," she said smiling sitting down by him. He looked over at her and returned her smile.

"Hey Blue," he said. "Things seem to be ok between you and the Doc," he added.

"Yeah," she answered.

"You ok?" Sawyer asked.

"Yeah, I'm fine," she told him tucking her hair behind her ears. "So what ya reading?" she asked taking the book from him.

"Fudge-a-mania," Stasia said, "I read this when I was in school, One of my favorites, I love the books about Fudge," she added and handed it back to him. "Was there nothing but kids books on the plane?" she asked.

"No there was other stuff," he said smirking.

"I'm not talking about porn, James," she said hitting him playfully on the chest.

"Why are you always hitting me?" he said.

"Because I like you," she said smiling.

"You don't hit Jack," he pointed out. "Why?"

"Because I like him," she answered.

"That makes a lot of sense," Sawyer said and rolled his eyes.

"Listen James, You know that I'm just joking when I hit, well its not really a hit its more of a tap, and you know I'm just joking with you," she told him. "Jack would take it to seriously."

"Oh," Sawyer said.

"So you don't have any different books?" she asked hopefully.

"What you looking for?" he asked.

"A Nicholas Sparks book or a trashy romance novel."

"Well I would have never pictured you as the trashy romance novel type." He said.

"Well if you're not having good sex yourself you might as well read about someone having good sex." She told him. "Although I do like the Nicholas Sparks better they're more romantic."

"Nothing going on with you and the Doc then?" Sawyer asked hoping she didn't notice the relief in his voice.

"He hasn't even been brought it up and he hasn't even tried," she told him.

"Well then he has to be an idiot," Sawyer told her.

"Its not even like I want to yet you know, its just it'd be nice to know he thought about it," she said looking away.

"Stasia," he said softly but she didn't turn around to look at him. Sawyer put his hand under her chin and she turned to look at him. "Do you even know what you want?"

"Sometimes I don't think so," she admitted and he tucked her hair behind her ears. "And I don't believe I just told you what's going on or should I say what's not going on with me and Jack."'

"Why did you?" he asked.

"I don't know," she sighed. "Its just when I talk to you I tell you stuff I don't want anyone to know and I guess it… Never mind," she said shaking her head.

"No what is it?"

"You're the only person on this island that I can be completely honest with. That I feel like I can be me around."

"I think I have a book you might like," Sawyer said and he went inside his tent and came back out with a book he handed it to her.

"Thanks," she said looking at the cover. "A Bend in the Road," she read. "Well I'm glad you had a Nicholas Sparks book and I haven't read this one," she told him. "Thanks," she said. Sawyer looked down at her but she didn't seem to be moving so he sat back down by her.

"You ok?" he asked.

"I'm sorry, if I'm in your way I'll leave," she sighed. "Just tell me."

"You're never in my way," he said. "I actually wish you were more in my way."

"Jack never told me what he was doing last night," she told Sawyer as she ran her fingers through the sand. "Just that an emergency came up here but it turned out to be nothing but he didn't say what it was." She said. "So you think he's hiding something from me?"

"I don't know," Sawyer said. "As much as I hate to point this out you're not being completely honest with him about our night in the cave ."

"I know," she said. "I know but if Jack knew I kissed you in the cave…"

"It was more than just a kiss and you know it," Sawyer said.

"Yeah but it can't happen again and we both know that," Stasia said.

"Yeah I know," he sighed.

* * *

Stasia walked back to her tent and sat down and opened her book and began to read.

"That's not Freckle Juice," Jack said and sat down by her.

"Yeah I know, but I went and talked to Sawyer and he gave me this instead, I've never read this one but it sounds good." She told him.

"Sawyer," Jack said.

"Yes Jack, Sawyer," she said frustrated. "I talked to Sawyer, deal with it." She told him.

"Stasia," he said.

"What was your emergency?" she asked. "Last night what was the emergency?"

"Stasia don't worry about that, I'm sorry I didn't come to the hatch last night,"

"Its ok Jack," she told him and went back to reading her book. Jack looked over at her.

"Stasia will you put that down for a minute," he said and she closed her book and looked over at Jack.

"What?" she asked.

"I've got button duty tonight and I know you just spent last night in the hatch but if you want to come with me tonight you can. I want you to."

"I might come by later but not right now," Stasia told him.

"Why are you mad at me?" he asked.

"Why would I be mad at you?" she asked. "I mean what possible reason do I have to be mad at you?"

"Because I didn't stay with you last night," he said.

"Oh my god Jack!" she exclaimed throwing her book inside her tent and standing up. Jack stood up as well. "I know you have other responsibilities Jack," Stasia said upset. "I know I can't be with you all the time, I know that Jack."

"Stasia," Jack said. "I'm sorry."

"For what Jack?" she asked throwing her hands up. "You haven't done anything wrong. Why are you apologizing?"

"I don't know, you were yelling at me."

"Jack I'm sorry I shouldn't have yelled,' she said. "Maybe Ana Lucia was right when she called me a spoiled pampered Princess."

"That's not true," Jack said and he wrapped his arms around her and she laid her head against his chest.

"I'm sorry Jack, I don't like to fight with you."

"It's alright," he whispered running his fingers through her hair. She looked up at him. "I have to go," he said kissing her.

"Alright, I'll be by later ok," she said.

"I really hope so," Jack said and kissed her again before leaving.

* * *

When he was gone Sawyer walked over to her.

"Hey Blue," he said touching her hip, she turned around.

"James," she sighed.

"Everything alright?" he asked.

"Yeah its fine," she told him.

"Come on Princess you can be honest with me."

"Princess?" she asked. "That's new." She added and he shrugged.

"Is Ana Lucia right? Am I a spoiled pampered Princess?"

"No," he answered immediately.

"Then why are you calling me Princess now?" she asked.

"I meant it as a compliment," he said.

"A compliment," she said. "How is that a compliment?"

"Well when I think of a Princess I think of someone who is beautiful, sweet, caring, graceful, kind, talented…"

"Spoiled," she interrupted.

"Ok but what would be so wrong with you being spoiled after everything you've been through?" he asked and she was quiet. "Stasia," he said softly.

"What?" she asked.

"Are you ok?" he asked.

"Yeah James, I'm fine," she told him. "I should really head to the Hatch to see Jack," she told him.

"So I guess I'll see you in the morning then," Sawyer said.

"Yeah," she said quietly.

"Be careful," he told her. "Alright?"

"Of course," she said but neither one of them moved. "I should really get some stuff together and get going before it gets dark," she told him.

"Alright see ya later Princess," he said and turned to walk away.

"I don't think I like my new nickname," she told him.

"Why not?" he asked and she shrugged.

"You know that…"

"Yes I know you mean it in a good way," she sighed.

"I do," he said. "Because you are beautiful sweet, caring, kind, talented," he said. "You're my Princess," he whispered and she smiled. "I'll see you later," he said and walked away. Stasia smiled and went inside her tent.


	19. I see it in his eyes

**A/N: Enjoy the chapter, I hope you like it. The songs in this chapter are Leave the pieces by the Wreckers and Broken by Lindsey Haun**

Rating: M

Disclaimer: I don't own Lost or anything you might recognize. Stasia is my character.

Summary: Stasia was in the tail section of the plane when it crashed. She was going to deliver a letter to a man named James Ford. When the plane crashes she's sure she'll never find him until one day she finds him in the last person she expected.

* * *

Stasia walked in the Hatch and saw Jack sitting in front of the computer. She sat her bag and guitar down.

"Hey Jack," she said smiling. He looked up and smiled.

"I wasn't sure if you would show up or not," he said. "But I'm glad you did."

"Yeah me to," she said and sat down by him. She picked up her bag and opened it taking her book out and starting to read.

"Is that all you're going to do while you're here?" Jack asked.

"I hope not," Stasia answered not looking up from her book. Jack looked at her and grabbed the book from her.

"Hey!" she exclaimed. "Give it back."

"What if I don't?" he asked smiling. Who knew Jack had a playful side? Stasia thought. Stasia got up from her chair and walked the few steps toward him.

"Can I have my book back?" she asked.

"This book?" he asked holding it up where she couldn't reach it. Stasia reached for it.

"Jack," she whined and she reached for it again and he moved it around.

"You're behaving like a child," she told him.

"Well what's wrong with that," he said. Stasia stopped and looked at him.

"Nothing," she said and leaned in towards him and pressed her forehead to his. She placed her hands on his shoulders and his arms dropped. Stasia smiled and ran her hand down his arm and started to grab her book.

"Nice try," Jack said holding it up again where she couldn't reach it. Stasia sighed.

"Fine Jack, its not the book I want right now," she said kissed him. Jack was surprised at first but closed his eyes and kissed her back. Stasia slid her arms around his neck and Jack dropped the book on the floor and put his hands on her hips and pulled her into his lap. Jack ran his fingers through her hair. Stasia pulled away and smiled at him. Jack smiled back and kissed her again and ran his hands up and down her sides and pulled her shirt off. Stasia unbuttoned his shirt and leaned forward and kissed him again just as the computer beeped. Jack pulled away.

"Just a minute," he said and he reached around her and entered the code. "Ok," he said and pushed her hair away from her face and kissed her again. Stasia felt Jack run his hands over her bare flesh and sighed leaning into his kiss. Jack ran his hands down her sides to the waistband of her pants.

"You sure we should be doing this?" Jack asked running his fingers under the waistband of her pants,

"Yeah," she said just as Kate ran in.

"JACK!" Kate yelled and stopped when she saw Jack and Stasia. They both looked at her. "Sorry," she said shocked.

"It's ok," Jack said, Stasia thought he almost sounded relieved. "Is something wrong?"

"We need you back at the beach," she said.

"What happened?" Jack asked calmly.

"Charlie fell from a tree and I'm sure he's fine, we cleaned him up but I'd just feel better if you took a look at him," Kate said.

"Ok," Jack said and Stasia nodded and stood up.

"I'm sorry, I have to go," he said but she wondered if he really was, he didn't sound like it.

"It's ok," she said. "go on," she added bending down to pick her shirt up. Jack buttoned his shirt up.

"I'll be back soon," he told her and kissed her.

"Look don't worry about me, I'll stay here and you can just stay at the beach. I don't want you walking back through the jungle by yourself," she told him.

"You sure you'll be ok?" he asked.

"I can take care of myself Jack," she told him.

"Alright," he said. "I'll see you in the morning," he added and walked out.

"I really am sorry I didn't mean to interrupt anything," Kate apologized as Stasia put her shirt on.

"Its really ok, I'm kind of glad you did interrupt," she told him. "Things were getting to carried away and I am so not ready for any of that yet," she told Kate. "You should go ahead and go, Jack will probably need you," she added.

"Alright," she said and turned to walk away. "Do you want me to ask someone to come here to stay with you?" Kate asked. "I know how it can be out here by yourself."

"Don't worry about it, I'll be ok," she said and Kate nodded and left. Stasia bent down and picked her book up from the floor and placed it on the table. She plopped down in a chair and opened the book and tried to read but it wasn't going so well, she couldn't concentrate. She decided to make good use of the shower and she pulled a change of clothes from her bag and figured she had plenty of time to take a quick shower so she took her clothes off and walked over and stepped in the shower.

* * *

Back at the beach Jack was checking Charlie over. Kate walked over to Sawyer.

"He going to be ok?" Sawyer asked her.

"I think so but I wanted Jack to check him over to make sure," she said.

"So who's at the Hatch?" Sawyer asked.

"Stasia," Kate answered.

"Alone?" he asked.

"Yeah, I told her I'd get someone to go back and stay with her but she said she'd be fine," Kate told him.

"I'm sure she will," Sawyer said.

"Why don't you go stay with her?" Kate suggested.

"Because she had button duty last night and I stayed with her last night," Sawyer answered.

"So," Kate said and walked away.

* * *

She walked over to Jack.

"So is he ok?" she asked.

"Yeah he'll be fine," Jack said. "You did a good job," he added.

"Thanks," she said.

"He just needs to rest," he said. "The only thing needed was a tighter bandage on his leg," Jack said. "Which I did."

"Good," she said and Jack sat down. Kate sat by him.

"Guess I should settle in here for the night," he sighed. "I feel bad about leaving Stasia alone again."

"She'll be fine, I sent someone to check on her," Kate told him.

"Who?" he asked and she didn't say anything. "It wasn't Sawyer."

"Actually it was," she said. "I'm sorry I wasn't thinking."

"I have to go back," he said standing up.

"No you don't Jack," Kate said grabbing his hand. Jack turned to look at her. "She's not going to do anything with Sawyer."

"I hope not," he said sitting down.

"If you don't trust her why are you with her?" Kate asked.

"I do trust her," Jack said.

"You don't act like it," Kate pointed out. "Why are you so afraid of her being alone with Sawyer?"

"Because Stasia and Sawyer are closer than we'll ever be," Jack sighed.

"Why do you say that?"

"She said Sawyer was the best friend she had here," Jack told Kate. "I mean if he hadn't done something to mess things up with them she wouldn't be with me right now."

"Don't think like that," Kate said placing her hand over his and Jack looked over at her.

"Maybe I should just end things, it'd be a lot less stressful," he sighed heavily.

"Is that what you want?" Kate asked and he looked over at her and their eyes met.

"I don't know what I want anymore," he admitted. "I do know what would have happened if you hadn't walked in and I'm glad you interrupted us it would have been a mistake," he admitted.

"Yeah, she told me the same thing," Kate told him.

"Really?" Jack asked and she nodded.

"I'm sorry," Kate told him.

"It's ok," Jack said softly brushing a stray hair out of her eye. Kate smiled at him and he leaned over and kissed her.

* * *

Sawyer made his way to the hatch to stay with Stasia. When he walked in he walked over to the computer and saw she wasn't there. He sat his bag down and saw her clothes on the floor and heard water running, she was in the shower. Sawyer sat down and sighed now all he had was an image of Stasia naked with water running down her body.

"Damn it," he said and he tried to think of something else. He heard the water cut off and knew Stasia would be out of the shower soon, he figured he better let her know he was here so she didn't walk out naked, not that he would mind her walking out naked, but he thought she'd be mad at him if she did. He stood up and walked over to the shower. Stasia was about to step out of the shower.

"Hey Princess," he said and Stasia stopped. "I wanted to let you know I was here before you got out," he said. Stasia stuck her head out and saw him standing there.

"You hand me that towel," she said and he nodded and walked over and picked it up and handed it to her. "Thanks," she said and stuck her head back in the shower and wrapped the towel around her body and then stepped out.

"Hey James," she said.

"Hey," he said trying not to look at her.

"I'm going to get dressed," she said and he nodded. "Alone," she added.

"Oh sorry," he said and stepped outside.

* * *

Stasia sighed when he left. She dried off with the towel and quickly dressed and then sat down at the computer. Sawyer returned a few minutes later. Stasia smiled at him.

"So its you and me again," he said.

"Yep," she said and was quiet.

"You ok?" he asked and she nodded. "Did something happen with you and Jack?"

"Kind of," she told him. "When Kate ran in jack and I were kissing."

"Ok so," he said.

"I was in his lap and he had pulled my shirt off and I had unbuttoned his shirt and…"

"Oh I got it," Sawyer interrupted.

"But Kate ran in and interrupted us before anything else could happen," she said.

"And you're mad about that?" he asked.

"NO!" she exclaimed. "I'm glad she interrupted because sleeping with Jack tonight would have been a mistake, I'm not ready for that yet."

"Really?" he asked.

"Yeah at least now I know he's thinking about it though."

"Yeah but now he's thinking about it and you don't want to," Sawyer pointed out.

"I know," she said. "I don't know what's wrong with me," she added and banged her head on the table.

"Don't do that," Sawyer said and she looked over at him.

"I'm so confused right now," she told him.

"Well talk to me then," he said. "What are you confused about?"

"Jack," she said "But I don't want to think about this tonight, not right now," she told him.

"Ok," he said. "I'm not going to push you, you'll talk to me when you're ready."

"Thanks for not being pushy," she said.

"So I haven't seen you play your guitar or sing much lately."

"Well I haven't had much to write about or sing about lately," she told him.

"That's to bad."

"I'm not even sure if Jack wants to be with me anymore," she told him and the computer beeped, she entered the code in.

"Why would you think that?" he asked.

"I don't know I'm sure its just me over thinking things, I shouldn't have mentioned it," she said. "Forget it." She said and looked away.

"Hey," he said quietly. "Stasia," he said touching her shoulder, she turned around and looked at him. "Why would you think Jack wouldn't want you anymore?"

"Because before when Jack and I were kissing, half naked," he said. "He almost sounded relieved when Kate interrupted us," she told him.

"I'm sure he wasn't."

"Because I was," Stasia admitted. "I don't think Jack and I can last much longer," she told him. "He says he trusts me but he doesn't I see it in his eyes."

"Its my fault mainly," Sawyer said.

"Don't do that James," she said shaking her head. "Its my fault not yours and lets leave it as that."

"Ok," he agreed. "I'll be right back," he said and stood up. Stasia watched him walk away. She sighed and picked her guitar up and started to play. She hummed a little until some words came to her.

"It's alright, yeah I'll be fine don't worry about this heart of mine. Just take your love and hit the road. There's nothing you can do or say, you're gonna break my heart anyway, just leave the pieces when you go."

"New song?" Sawyer asked walking over.

"Maybe," she said and continued to play. Sawyer sat down.

"I haven't written much lately," she told him. "But I did write a song after my mom died."

"How did she die?" Sawyer asked.

"She drank to much and decided to take a lot of pills as well and it killed her."

"Wow, sorry," he said. "What's the song called?"

"Broken," she answered.

"Sounds sad."

"I didn't say you had to hear it," she told him setting her guitar down. "My mom died, Cole died my dad died," she said. "I mean I loved Cole so much, I thought I'd be with Cole forever," she told him. "Is that crazy?" she asked.

"No of course not," Sawyer told her and she smiled and they were quiet.

"So maybe I could hear a little of that song," he suggested.

"Alright," she agreed and picked her guitar up. "Chorus?" she asked and he nodded. She started to play.

"When you're broken in a million little pieces and you're trying but you can't hold on anymore. Every tear falls down for a reason, don't you stop believing in yourself when you're broken," she sang and she finished and looked over at Sawyer.

"I've felt that way before," Sawyer said quietly.

"I think everyone's felt broken at one time in different ways though," she said.

"Yeah I guess so," Sawyer agreed and Stasia put her guitar down. She looked over at Sawyer and smiled.

"What?" he asked.

"Its nothing," Stasia told him.

"Oh come on, I know you're thinking something what is it?" he asked.

"Its just…I was thinking that…" she mumbled quietly. "I was thinking you really are a very attractive guy," she mumbled quietly and he smiled.

"Well you know what I was thinking?" he asked.

"What?" she asked.

"That you are an extremely beautiful girl," he said and ran his fingers through her hair and let his hand rest on her cheek. Stasia laid her hand over his and looked over at him and their eyes locked on each other. They slowly started moving towards each other, they were inches apart. Their lips were about to touch when the computer beeped. Neither one of them moved, they kept their eyes on each other. After a few seconds Sawyer asked.

"Are you going to get that?"

"Yeah," she whispered and tore her gaze from him and entered the code in. Then she looked back at him.

"I'm sorry," she apologized.

"Why?" Sawyer asked.

"Because I shouldn't be thinking about you like this when I'm with Jack," she told him and stood up and walked away. Sawyer sighed and followed her.

"Stasia," he said standing behind her. "If you weren't with Jack what would you be doing now."

"Kissing you," she answered. "If I wasn't with Jack I would have probably done a lot more than kiss you by now," she admitted. "And no matter how much I want to kiss you I can't."

"Because of Jack," Sawyer said and she nodded.

"I'm sorry," she said and Sawyer said nothing else.

* * *

The next morning Sawyer and Stasia walked back to the beach together.

"Thanks for staying with me again last night," Stasia said.

"That's what friends are for," he said.

"Well I'll see you later then," Stasia said and Sawyer nodded and they went their separate ways. 

Stasia decided to drop her stuff off at her tent and take a walk. She needed some time to think about things. Her feelings for Sawyer were deeper than friendship but she did like Jack. She wasn't so sure she'd ever love Jack as anything more than a friend. She didn't think about doing the things with Jack that she thought about doing with Sawyer. Stasia sighed and she heard a noise. She looked around but didn't see anything. Then she heard a sound that sounded like something running towards her, she looked behind her and saw a boar. Stasia squealed and ran as fast as she could and stopped and climbed up a tree. She didn't even realize how far she was climbing. When the boar was gone Stasia decided to climb down, it was then she realized how high she had climbed up. Stasia slowly made her way down the tree but lost her footing and fell down. Her leg was hitting all the branches as she fell and she hit the ground with a loud thud and passed out.


	20. A decision

**A/N: Enjoy the chapter, I hope you like it. **

Rating: M

Disclaimer: I don't own Lost or anything you might recognize. Stasia is my character.

Summary: Stasia was in the tail section of the plane when it crashed. She was going to deliver a letter to a man named James Ford. When the plane crashes she's sure she'll never find him until one day she finds him in the last person she expected.

* * *

Sawyer had wondered where Stasia got off to. He had a bad feeling that something was wrong with her. He got up and headed into the jungle hoping he could find her and that she was ok. Sawyer walked through the jungle and after about fifteen minutes he found her and she was laying on the ground and her leg was bleeding.

"Princess," he exclaimed and ran over. "Oh my God!" he said and bent down. "Blue," he said softly and he ran his hand over her face. "Wake-up," he whispered but she didn't move. She was still breathing. Sawyer picked her up in his arms and ran to the hatch.

"Jack! Jack!" Sawyer yelled running into the hatch. Jack turned around and saw Sawyer with Stasia in his arms.

"Lay her here," Jack said pointing to the bed. Sawyer did. "Do you know what happened?" Jack asked walking over.

"No I found her like this," he said. "Is she going to be ok?"

"I don't know," Jack said and looked at Sawyer. "Clean your hands I need your help." Jack said and Sawyer did what he asked.

"Ok, hold this on her leg to stop the bleeding" Jack said and handed Sawyer a cloth. "Put pressure on it, Then clean the blood off." he added and Sawyer to the cloth and did what Jack asked.

"I'm going to check her head," Jack told him.

"Ok," Sawyer said and he watched Jack check her head.

"There's no bumps or blood or any kind of cut." He said. He looked at Sawyer and he was cleaning the blood off of her leg.

"Lets see her leg," Jack said and Sawyer moved the cloth.

"That doesn't look good, I'm going to have to stitch it," Jack sighed.

"Ow," Stasia said groggily. Jack and Sawyer looked at her.

"James," she said.

"Stasia its Jack," Jack said.

"My head hurts, my leg hurts, I hurt all over," she said shaky.

"Do you remember what happened?" Jack asked.

"I was running from a boar, I climbed a tree and I climbed higher than I thought and I fell climbing down," she said slowly.

"Ok," Jack said. "You seem to be ok except for the cut on your leg, I'm going to have to sew it up and it might hurt," he told her.

"Ok," she said.

Jack looked at Sawyer. "I need you to go sit by her and talk to her distract her while I sew her leg up."

"Alright," Sawyer agreed and walked to the other end of the bed. He sat down in a chair by her.

"Hey Blue," he said and she looked over at him. "I hear you took a tumble from a tree. How many times have I told you you're not Jane of the Jungle?"

"James," she said quietly. "I'm glad you're here," she said and Jack started to sew her leg. "Ow," she gasped and Sawyer took her hand in hers.

"You scared me Princess. When I saw you laying on the ground I didn't know what had happened."

"You found me?"

"Yeah," he said. "This may sound weird but I went looking for you because I got a weird feeling something was wrong with you," Sawyer said. Jack stopped sewing and looked at them for a minute. Realizing they had a strong connection. Much stronger than she would ever have with him. Jack continued sewing her leg.

"Well then I guess I'm glad you found me," she said.

"Well I'm all done," Jack said and Sawyer looked at him.

"That wasn't to bad," she said.

"Now you need to rest," Jack told her.

"Alright," she agreed.

* * *

A few days later Stasia was basically back to normal she was thinking about helping Sun in the garden today and was fixing to walk that way when Jack walked over to her.

"So your leg still feeling ok?" he asked.

"Its fine Jack," she told him. "I'm ok," she added and she looked down the beach and saw Sawyer sitting outside his tent.

"Good," he said and gently kissed her lips.

"I'm going to go help Sun," she told him.

"I'll see you later then," Jack said and she nodded and walked off.

* * *

Stasia made her way to Sun's garden and saw she was working.

"Hey," Stasia said and Sun looked up and smiled. "Need some help?"

"Sure," Sun said nodding her head and Stasia knelt down in the dirt.

"How is your leg?" Sun asked.

"Its better," Stasia told her. "Can we talk?" she asked.

"Of course," Sun said and looked over at her.

"Ok so…um…the thing is Sawyer said he went looking for me because he got a bad feeling something was wrong with me." Stasia told her. "Is that strange?"

"Its not strange to have a connection with someone," Sun said. "And you and Sawyer seem to have that." Sun said. "You two do seem really close."

"We are, we do have a connection," she agreed. "Is it strange that I have such a strong connection with Sawyer instead of Jack?" she asked

"Well since Jack is the guy you are with I guess it might be kind of strange but just because you and Sawyer share a strong connection doesn't mean your feelings for Jack aren't as strong."

"I guess so," she sighed. "I think Jack thinks that it does," she added. "He doesn't trust me with Sawyer and he won't say it but he doesn't and I can see it when he looks at me."

"So why don't you just stop talking to Sawyer?" Sun asked

"He's the best friend I have here," she told her. "And that leaves me with a huge problem."

"What?" Sun asked.

"I like Jack," she said. He's a great guy and I do like him."

"Ok and.," Sun said.

"I like Sawyer to," Stasia said.

"Ok," Sun said confused.

"And that kind of causes a problem for me."

"Why?" Sun asked

"Because I'm hopelessly in love with Sawyer," she said.

"Sawyer?" Sun asked. "You're in love with Sawyer." She said shocked.

"Yeah I am," she said.

"And Jack?"

"I like Jack," she answered.

"But you don't love him," Sun said.

"No I don't," she admitted.

"Could you love Jack?" Sun asked her.

"I don't know," she admitted. "I mean Jack's the guy I want to love."

"Do you want to know what I think?" Sun asked.

"Yeah I do," she said.

"You can't stay with Jack if you are in love with another man," Sun said. "Its not fair to anyone," she added.

"I know," she said. "I know that. I know that if I stay with Jack I'd be forcing something to happen that just isn't there." She sighed. "So I have to go talk to Jack don't I?" she asked.

"Yes you do." Sun told her. "And then you have to talk to Sawyer because he loves you to."

"He does," Stasia said.

"Yes I see it when he looks at you and by the way he talks to you and treats you," Sun explained. "He doesn't treat just anyone that way."

"I guess not," she said and stood up. "Thank you Sun, I know what I have to do now." Stasia said.

"You're welcome," Sun replied. "And good luck," she added and Stasia walked away.


	21. I want you

**A/N: I am going out of town today and will not be back until June 2nd. But I do have a chapter ready to post when I get back. Enjoy the chapter, I hope you like it, please review.**

Rating: M

Disclaimer: I don't own Lost or anything you might recognize. Stasia is my character.

Summary: Stasia was in the tail section of the plane when it crashed. She was going to deliver a letter to a man named James Ford. When the plane crashes she's sure she'll never find him until one day she finds him in the last person she expected.

* * *

Stasia was looking for Jack on the beach but she didn't see him anywhere. She saw Kate talking to Sayid and walked over.

"Hey," Stasia said and they looked at her.

"Hi," Kate said nervously.

"Hello," Sayid replied.

"Have either of you seen Jack?" Stasia asked.

"No I haven't seen him," Sayid told her.

"I haven't seen him today at all," Kate said. She still sounded nervous.

"Are you alright?" Stasia asked Kate.

"I'm fine," she replied.

"Alright, thanks anyway," Stasia said and walked off.

* * *

Where was Jack? Stasia continued to walk around trying to find Jack. She was starting to get frustrated. She looked down by the water and saw Jack looking out over the ocean and she walked over to him.

"Hey I've been looking for you," Stasia said and Jack turned and looked at her.

"Hey," he said quietly. "You feeling ok?" he asked.

"Yeah I'm fine," she told him. "But we need to talk."

"Yeah I agree," Jack said.

Sawyer looked over and noticed them talking and wondered what they were talking about.

"Look, Jack I like you," she said. "You're a good person, a wonderful doctor, and an attractive man."

"But what?" he asked.

"However we're not working," she said. "I keep thinking about Sawyer and as long as Sawyer's in my head we'll never work and I'm sorry for that." She told him. "I'm not trying to hurt you I just want to be honest with you."

"I appreciate that," Jack said taking her hand in his. "And I was thinking the same thing," he said. "I kissed Kate a few nights ago and that shouldn't have happened not if I feel the way about you I'm supposed to. I'm sorry."

"Its ok Jack," Stasia said. "I think we'd be better friends," she added.

"Yeah ok," Jack said.

"Friends?" she said and he nodded.

"Friends," he said and hugged her and kissed her forehead.

"Thanks Jack," she said and Jack smiled at her and walked away.

* * *

Sawyer watched Stasia and Jack talk. He saw them talk, Jack hug and kiss her. It was obvious she was going to stay with Jack. He let out a sigh and went into his tent. Stasia went to Sawyer's tent.

"James," she said but he said nothing. "James are you in there?" she asked but he didn't say anything. She sighed. "I really need to talk to you," she said quietly and peeked her head inside his tent and saw him laying down reading a book.

"Why didn't you answer me?" she asked walking inside.

"Maybe I wanted to be alone," he told her.

"Sorry," she said. "I just needed to talk to you. I just finished talking to Jack and I want to tell you what we decided."

"What? That you're going to be together forever and get married when you get off this island," he said meanly and stood up. "Spare me the details," he said walking the few steps over to her. "Because I really don't want to hear about how much you love him," he added rudely. Stasia took a step back from him.

"But I wasn't…" she began but he interrupted.

"You said we could only be friends and I was reasonable and I accepted that because its what you wanted but maybe we can't be friends anymore," he said. "And maybe you should leave."

"James, but I have to talk to you," she said.

"Did you not hear me I don't want to hear about how much you love Jack!" he yelled. "I think you should leave."

Stasia looked at him and wiped tears from her eyes and turned around to walk out but then she looked back at him.

"I'm an idiot," she told him. "I can't believe I came in here to tell you that I'm in love with you," she said and ran out.

* * *

Sawyer watched her run off to shocked to do anything. She just said she was in love with him, if he heard her right and he was pretty sure he did. Sawyer ran after her. He saw her run into her tent.

Stasia fell to the ground in her tent and cried. She finally admitted she was in love with him and he yelled at her and basically told her he didn't want anything to do with her anymore. She had incredibly bad luck. Sawyer walked in her tent and saw her on the ground crying. He had done this.

"Blue," he said.

"Go away," she told him. "Leave me alone, you said what you had to say so just leave me alone."

"I didn't mean to make you cry," he said quietly and knelt down by her. "Stasia," he said rubbing her back. "Come on lets talk," he said and she sat up and looked at him. He wiped her tears with his thumbs and pulled her to him hugging her. "I'm sorry," he whispered. "I didn't mean to make you cry." He told her and she pulled away from him. "I was just so tired of hearing you talk about Jack and how great things are with Jack."

"I didn't realize it bothered you so much, but you don't have to hear me talk about Jack anymore."

"Really?" he asked.

"Yeah," she said nodding. "Because I've fallen in love with you." He smiled. "And staying with Jack wasn't going to make me stop loving you." She said. "But I do love you and I guess I was scared to love you and staying with Jack was helping me to avoid that."

"Why were you scared to love me?"

"I don't know, you're so much like all the other guys I dated but you're totally different as well." She said and Sawyer smiled. "But I love you and I can't change that. I don't want to change that."

"Good," he smiled. "Because you know that I love you to," he added and she smiled. "I hated watching you with Jack everyday. Watching you touch him and kiss him" Sawyer admitted.

"Well James, you're the only guy I want to kiss," she said.

"Well then I can help you with that," he said and kissed her.

"James," she said. "I'm sorry it took so long to get here."

"Well all that matters now is that you did get here." He said softly and kissed her again.

"I love you," she whispered and kissed him.

* * *

Stasia and Sawyer started to walk out of her tent.

"Wait," he said and pulled her to him.

"What is it?" she asked.

"If we walk out together people might start to think we are together," he told her. "Are you ok with that?"

"Yes I'm ok with that," she said. "Are you ok with that?"

"Yes I am," he said and kissed her again. "Let's go." He said and grabbed her hand and pulled her out. They walked down the beach hand in hand not even worrying about what anyone else thought. So Stasia had just broken up with Jack, but she had always loved Sawyer and she shouldn't have avoided her feelings for him.

"What are you thinking about?" Sawyer asked.

"Well I just broke things off with Jack like ten minutes ago and now I'm walking along the beach holding hands with you," she said. "I guess I'm wondering what everyone is thinking." She sighed.

"I don't think it matters," Sawyer told her and stopped walking. "Sit down," he said and she did and he sat beside her. "I just want to know why you decided to end things with Jack and tell me how you felt."

"Does it really matter?" she asked looking away.

"It does to me," he said softly and she turned to look at him.

"I was talking to Sun and I told her how I felt and I decided I had to talk to you and Jack," she told him.

"So I have Sun to thank," he said.

"Well yeah I guess. Well I really just talked everything out with her and the big part was admitting how I felt about you the rest was easy."

"Breaking up with Jack was easy?" he asked.

"Kind of. I didn't like breaking up with him but he pretty much felt the same way," she told him.

"Really?"

"Yeah," she sighed. "It doesn't matter now because its over," she told him. "I chose to be with you because I wanted to not because I had to," she told him and gently grabbed his hand. "I want you, that's all you need to believe."

"You already know I want you," Sawyer said smiling.

"Yeah you made that perfectly clear." She said returning his smile.


End file.
